Thursday, January 31, 2013

Thursday's Outfit Pick

This Thursday outfit is fashionable and warm! It is winter ladies and this just proves we can be cute and warm.

Thursday Laugh!


1.31.13 Note To Self

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

In Our Own Words...


“Ya'll need to let go of this "www" you don't have to type that in anymore people!!” – McLovin (1.29.13)

“Just experienced the bumpiest and scariest flight of my life. Was supposed to land in Dallas an hour ago, but had to come to Austin because of bad weather. To be continued...” – IvyLeague (1.29.13)

“This world is so confusing, when I came up if you didn’t act your age you were considered immature. Now, if you act your age you are considered lame. Wtf? Lol! – BobbiJean (1.28.13)

“RANT: Good Hair, is hair that comes from your head. It is not defined by waves or curls, texture, or length. Say not to another, that their hair is not worthy to be Natural; or that they don't have "that kind" of hair. Be mindful, that the curls, kinks, coils and waves of each person, is their own unique gift. Who are we to question or contest one's freedom to embrace a gift from the creator... And by all means do NOT project your fear of not chemically alterning your hair others.... #rantover”  – Claras Hand (1.22.13)

Wednesday's Outfit Pick

It's hump day! This look is perfect for work and is a easy transition piece. Simply change out the plume colors with any other colors that mesh well with this color scheme.

Wednesday Humor

1.30.13 Note To Self

"It's not enough to be busy... the question is: what are we busy about?"
- Henry David Thoreau

Monday, January 28, 2013

Health Tip: Mental Illness

You generally cannot "make" someone that is suspected to have a mental illness seek care. There are of course exceptions such as homicidal or suicidal ideations. Encourage them to speak with their primary care physician and/or notify their PCP (Primary Care Physician) of your concerns. If someone threatens to harm themselves or harm someone else then BELIEVE them! Contact the local authorities (MD/Police/Paramedics/911/Mobile Crisis) immediately! Have A Mentally Healthy Day!

Monday Outfit Pick!

It's Monday and its COLD outside! If you are a hat woman then this look is for you. Most of us were raised with our parents, grandparents or someone telling us to "Cover Up and PUT SOMETHING ON YOUR HEAD!" Well..... here you go!

Wake Up! It's Monday! (Smile)

1.28.13 Note To Self

"May you live all the days of your life." - Jonathan Swift

Friday, January 25, 2013

Friday Laugh!

Playlist Adds

This weekends playlist adds just for you! Enjoy!

Weekend Outfit Picks

The weekend is the time for jeans! Here are three looks we have picked out for you that are fashionable and functional for the woman on the go. So whether you are going shopping, to your kids games or running errands, we have something for you here!

1.25.13 Note To Self

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." - Mark Twain

Thursday, January 24, 2013

1.24.13 Note To Self

"Don't ever regret anything because regretting means wanting
to forget every moment. Every moment is what makes you who youare today, every moment spent in regret is a moment wasted.
Don't waste your moments in life, you never know when you'll
stop waking up."
- Maryam Zarei

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

In Our Own Words...

- I want starbucks. I'm not even tired I just crave the taste of an iced caramel mocha with delicious whipped cream. - McLovin' (1.11.13)

- My workplace is making me sick. Sinuses draining and irritated throat. I only sneeze at work. They should pay for my allergy meds. SMH. - Adwoa (1.10.13)

- In Lebanon,TN and using my Google Maps app to get back to home. The first thing it tells me to do is "head SE on Tater Peeler Road". Teeheehee...that made me LOL! - IvyLeague (1.12.13)

- Awkward Moment when you look in your rear view mirror and discover that the car that insists on tailgating has a crushed in front bumper... SMFro, Didn't you learn the first time???? - Clara's Hand (1.8.13)

- I'm starting to think that model is the new term for stripper...ijs. - Bobbi Jean (1.13.13) 

1.15.13 Tuesday Outfit Pick

Classic, Classy, Class! Who says you can't wear white in the middle of Winter?  

1.15.13 Note To Self

"Don't ever be afraid to admit you were wrong. It's like saying you're wiser today than you were yesterday." -Robert Newell

Monday, January 14, 2013

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Coily Hair Chronicles (3)

The Coily Hair Chronicles

“ Help!!!!!  My Man Hates My Natural Hair ”

“What!! He doesn’t like your hair???? Girl! Leave Him! Pack your bags… better yet, pack his bags and put them by the door. Tell him, it’s natural you, or nothing! You tell him… that he….”
*** Time Out*** That’s right, I’m pausing this conversation!  I know that by now, many of you have encountered that one natural friend who had completely  committed herself to a natural hair journey, emerged herself in the transformation of her coils, and then comes to you distraught and disgusted because her man is less than thrilled that her 18 inch Egyptian Remy is a thing of the past. 
Before you go advising your friends to give the love of her life the boot, or before you prepare to  give your man an ultimatum between your natural hair and sleeping in the car, you should take a look at this post and try to view things from his stand point.
We live in a time, where the standard for beauty is often judged based upon very superficial characteristics such as weight, skin tone, eye color, etc.  Just as we were poisoned into thinking that our kinky, curly, coily hair was something undesirable, or something to be hidden; Men of this day and age were groomed into thinking that the standard for beauty is long straight sleek hair. After all, when you met him, you probably weren’t rockin a teenie weenie afro, or 4 inch two strand twists.  My suggestion for this dilemma would be to have the talk with your significant other about changing your hairstyle prior to the occurrence.  Public Service Announcement: THIS IS NOT MY SUGGESTION TO  ASK FOR PERMISSION. This is merely my belief that having the natural discussion prior to cutting all your hair, will at least give you some idea of how he will respond to the change. Thus avoiding the heartbreak of him telling you that he's upset.  Men enjoy feeling like they are included in our decisions to make important changes. Personally, I  chose to sit down with my husband and explain all of the risks associated with the exposure of harsh chemicals on my scalp. I explained to him that while I would truly appreciate his support, this choice to go natural was primarily for my own personal growth, and happiness. I also included that I understood if he felt that this was selfish, and asked what I could do to make him more comfortable with this choice.  Perhaps, once your significant other knows why you want to make the change he will be more supportive. This does not mean that he will be in favor of you two rockin’ matching fades, so the discussion of whether to big chop or the transition will likely be saved for another day, but at least you will have an idea about what his response to the change will be.  Below I will make a list of suggestions on how to have the "natural talk" with your mate. Good Luck Ladies, and Congrats on your Choice!

1.       Make a List of the Pros and Cons of going natural and share it with your significant other.
Pro: I won’t have to plan swimming, vacations, holiday parties, or any weekend get-away around my relaxer.
Con: For a while, I will be uncertain about how to style my hair, so I may feel somewhat uncomfortable.

2.       Offer a Compromise.  Perhaps your honey isn’t too keen on the idea of you shaving your head. In this instance you could transition, and protect your hair, by doing straw sets, twist outs, braid outs, or even bantu knot outs to blend the two textures, after a few months of growth you could again, re-visit the idea of the “Big Chop.” (Note:  Some of those “Loves of Your Life” will have made their exit a few months into the transition, because of various reasons that have nothing to do with your hair. At this time,  please feel free to do as you wish, “before he cleans up his act” as Bridget Kelly would say).

3.       Switch It Up!   One could write an ode to natural hair based solely upon its versatility. You can wear so many styles and maintain so many textures and looks without permanently altering the pattern of your hair. If your man is like mine, and is deeply devoted to the straight and silky, then consider an occasional sew-in. This gives you a break from being overwhelmed with hair growth or the lack of growth,styling, etc. and gives him the opportunity to see you in the way that he’s used to seeing you. Now, for those of you, who are like me, and refuse to be limited or pigeonholed into any style, then wigs are a ton of fun and completely commitment free! Just be sure that you are taking care of the hair underneath the sew in or the wig!!!!!   (Your natural hair should never be wet for more than 24 hours, this creates a laboratory for mildew…. Ewwww!)

4.       Patience.  Just as you are requesting that your partner be patient with you in changing your hair from its current sate back to its natural state, you will be have to be patient with his acceptance level.  I can remember early natural days when I would co-wash my hair, and my husband would be  standing in the door frame of the bathroom looking at me with his, “Girl, if you don’t grow some hair!” stare. But as time progressed, he saw my personality emerge and self-esteem increase, followed by my hair gaining and retaining length. Now, he randomly compliments my hair, or will mention how much it has grown over the last few months. His preference now, is my curly hair, although occasionally, I throw on my long straight wig, just to see his million dollar smile. Remember, just as you will be a work in progress on embracing and strengthening your natural hair; your significant other will also be experiencing a “loss” of a kind as well, and may need prompting.  Sharing the experience with him and making him understand it’s purpose is key in gaining his support. 

       Good Luck This Week in All Your Curly Endeavors....

Foot Note:  How to Catch a Dred Head 101: Go Natural; They are always on the Natural Hair Care Aisle.       


Thursdays Outfit Pick

Yes, ladies it is Thursday aka Friday Eve! This is exactly why we decided to brighten things up a little with this #HAUTE yellow number. Who says you can't wear bright colors in the winter? This outfit is surely to brighten up your day as well as those around you. Plus, you will be a definite stand out in this outfit. We are dying over those shoes with the Yellow Bottoms...What!

Count Your Blessings....Yeah, Seriously!

This is a great idea that was brought to our attention via a Facebook post! Read the note on the jar (insert the Jeopardy theme music here)....let's do it! Who cares if we are 10 days in to the year this is something we need to do every single year in our opinions. Plus, what about if you don't wait until December 31st, what about when you are having a bad day or a "pity party for one" you go and pull from your own personal "Blessings Jar". How would that make you feel? Please comment and let us know if you plan on doing this in your home.

1.10.13 Note To Self

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Health Tip: Cold Weather Attire

If it is cold enough for you to have on a hat, boots, sweater, and scarf then certainly your infant child should have on something similar. A thin onsey,no socks, no hat is not enough in freezing weather. Please cover the baby. Have A Healthy Day!

Wednesday Outfit Pick

The Wednesday selection of the week is for the professional woman who is required to dress "business" by her employer. This look can also be pulled off with some flats but we prefer the classic black heel and hope that you do as well (not all women can wear heels so please add flats).

Wednesday = Hump Day

1.9.13 Note To Self

"If an egg is broken by outside force, Life ends. If broken by
inside force, Life begins. Great things always begin from

- Jim Kwik

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Tuesday Outfit

This particular outfit is for our readers that are not in the colder weather climates. It is perfect to wear with a light jacket in the day or evening.


1.8.13 Note To Self

"The first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive
is the strongest, and the first to forget is the happiest."
- Unknown Author

Monday, January 7, 2013

The Coily Hair Chronicles (2)

5 Things You Should Know Before Going Natural

     With the new year just taking off, I am sure that many of you have made resolutions to make major changes in your life. Many have joined gyms and vowed to shed a certain number of pounds before the swim suit season hits. Others have made plans to get out of debt, or avoid the use of credit cards. Some have made spiritual commitments to re-dedicate their lives to their religious beliefs, or return to a place of worship. Some have sworn to ignore phone calls from an ex-lover or end the cycle of ephemeral relationships, and still there are others who have made personal goals of self-acceptance and self-admiration. If by chance one of your goals this year is to "go natural," I applaud you on this life changing journey of self-discovery. Beware; as this journey is not for the faint at heart, the weak, or those who cannot endure. I would like to take this opportunity to share 5 things that I wish I would have known before I took the plunge in the natural hair world. This post is by no means, an attempt to change your mind, but rather a caution statement to prepare you for the obstacles that await you.


  1. Everyone will not appreciate or support your natural hair journey.
    It is extremely important to note that everyone will definitely form an opinion about your decision to make such a huge change, but not everyone will be supportive or as excited about  the change. Many people including some of your closest friends and relatives, will turn up their noses, suggest that you return to relaxers, compare you to other naturals and women on television, and even go as far as referring you to their on stylist for assistance. Please see #2 for how to combat this.
  2. You don't have to care if "They" like it or not.
    Once you have this statement branded on your brain, the hardest part is nearly over. It is important when you decide to allow your hair to return to its natural state that you do so for your own personal reasons. You should also embrace the fact that you might not have ringlet curls like the girl who sits two cubicles down from you, or the lady at church . If your mindset is not right,  the negative opinions of others will quickly sway you back to chemicals. Having your own reasons for starting this journey will give you strength to continue when others are pulling you back to the mainstream idea of beauty.  

  3. Don't Big Chop Until You're Ready   
    Cutting off all of your hair is a major change to both you and those around you. In fact, even your hair goes into shock from the sudden famine of chemicals to which it was accustomed. Cutting off your hair prior to being prepared for this event can be  a  major self-esteem blow, and could result in embarrassment, lack of confidence, depression, and social withdrawal. The key to pulling off  natural hair is confidence, or "swagg" as the kids are calling it now days.
    Please Note: Not all naturals who do a premeditated big chop  will hear air horns or experience a rush of freedom, as the heavenly choir sings in the back ground, (I know from personal experience. All I heard was crickets, and that stupid faucet dripping...smh) but, getting used to yourself looking a different way, once you have played it over in your mind a million times, is much different than just jumping on a bandwagon, and facing month after month of regrets. Plan accordingly, and don't cut until you're ready!

  4. Find a Natural Hair Buddy
    This is very similar to finding a partner to go with you to the gym. You would like for the partner to be very supportive and to push you forward when you feel like you can't go any further. When looking for a gym partner we often do one of two things. A.) We look for someone who is equally or more out of shape than us. Or B.)We look for someone who is very much in shape and will be sure to motivate us without being hurtful.  Having someone to "grow with" follows the same line of thinking. Your natural hair buddy will need to be someone who you can rely on, and doesn't mind your complaints of kinks and knots. Someone who encourages and nurtures your dedication to be chemical free, and will tell you to snap out of it, when you experience curl envy. I vow to be that friend for you, until you find her, and after that I will still be here because encouragement is key to success. 

  5. This is Journey, NOT a Race!
    While I have saved this point for last, it is the most important of the five. So many naturals chop off their hair, and from the very first day pine over the days when their hair will be long enough to touch their shoulders, or do pin ups, or buns, etc. Too often this rush to grow hair long, results in failure to ensure that their hair is healthy. If your primary focus is hair health, then the secondary focus of length will be sure to follow. Enjoy your first several months of short hair. In the words of Jenell of Kinky Curly Coily Me, "This is the 'shortest' part of your journey."

Hope this Advice Helps!
*Clarashands*                                                  "Whether you think you can, or can't; you're right."- Henry Ford

Monday Outfit!

Let's get Monday started off right! This splash of red from head to toe will certainly give you the extra energy that you need to get your week off to a HOT start!

All Phones Face Down Now!

This is a awesome idea! Try it out and see if anyone goes crazy from not being able to look at their phones during the meal and if it drives them to the point of picking up the tab for everyone.

1.7.13 Note To Self

Friday, January 4, 2013

The Coily Hair Chronicles (Nappy Good Times)


Back to Our Roots... 

 Years ago, we planted ourselves on a bed of pillows between our mother’s knees, as she took down the cornrows, twists, or any other style that she had chosen for us to wear to school that week. Normally, this task was agonizing, as it  usually involved the breaking of little black rubber bands, and was showered with warnings by our mother to keep quiet and sit still.  Moments later, we headed to the kitchen sink, and awkwardly stood on our knees in a chair, or tip-toed uncomfortably with hand towel over our eyes. (I always shrieked when water either too hot or too cold made contact with my scalp, and let's not leave out the fact that the hand towel never kept the shampoo out of my eyes.)  Thus began the seemingly endless process of the shampoo, blow dry, press, and curl. At 9 am, we were looking like Celie, but by 4 or 5 pm, we felt like Aaliyah, and the painful detangling and sizzle of the hot comb was just a memory. While the days of Royal Crown, Blue Magic, and Hot Combs, are distant for many of us, it seems that "returning to our roots" has become an epidemic in the African American Community.

 I am fully aware that many women have sworn off their kinks, coils, and curls, with no intention of breaking their allegiance to regular relaxers and flat irons. I have no issue with your intentions to continue to care for your hair in this matter. (Yes, It is Possible for women with relaxed hair to have healthy hair!) But, as for me and my house, we will return to our roots! POWER TO THE PUFF! (Fully extends fist upward).  I implore you, women both young and old, natural, relaxed, undecided, and transitioners, to go with me this year on my journey in natural hair. While I have been fully natural since 09/04/11,  it wasn't until roughly 8 months ago, that I truly embraced my crown and made it a personal mission to influence and encourage the journey of other naturals! I'll be here to help you with: tips, advice, styles,  product reviews, regimens, funny stories, words of encouragement, and to answer questions that you may have along the way. When I don't have an answer, I will find it for you, because I have no shame in admitting that I don't know everything ( please, don't tell my husband).

I am by no means claiming to be  a Natural Hair Expert, but I am an expert at  what works for my hair, and what has helped me to stay dedicated in my journey. I have so many things that I want to share with you all, but we have a whole year to cover those things! Come and go with me on a journey of transformation, personal acceptance, and spiritual and emotional growth. I'm almost certain you won't regret it!


*If you want something you've never had, you have to be willing to do something you've never done. -- Thomas Jefferson*

In Our Words...

I have a marathon of events for the month of January! I'm going to run this race with grace, faith, and favor. On your mark, get set, let's go! #Victory - Dr.Collins (1.2.13)

Happy New Year! Goals this year: Laugh often, Love Harder, and Dance more randomly... Lol - Clara's Hand (1.1.13)

Amazed at the number of people walking around downtown with no coat, bare legs, shorts and even shoeless. It's raining and in the low 40's. #toocold!
- IvyLeague (12.31.12)

Dear Nashville drivers - let me explain something to ya, if you're in the left lane doing below the speed limit you need to move yo behind out of the fast lane. It is not for you. There's a lane on the far right for people like you. - McLovin (12.28.12)

Friday Outfit

This has outfit has been classified as #haute by the team of ladies here at Real. Life. Woman. Talk. This outfit can be dressed up or down and that makes it absolutely perfect!

Friday Laugh!

You know this is funny! 

1.4.13 Note To Self