To Those Who Just Don’t Get it!

This week was an historic time in the fight for gay people’s civil rights. The gay community has been celebrating the victory as we should be. But we also know we still have a lot of work to do before we truly have equality amongst those who disagree.  I will say this. I haven’t heard a good argument against gay marriage being legal yet. So if you have one other than it’s not natural, it’s against the Bible, procreation, imposing our “immoral” beliefs, scantity of marriage blah blah blah give it to me. There’s a comments section, speak up!

This week I have seen very few negative posts on my timelines about it. Most people are just not weighing in or they have been posting supportive things. I have seen a couple posts here and there and some really offended me. The main one I saw was this little diddy:

It’s deceptively packaged in wording that makes it sound like “this is harmless, I do not wish you harm, and don’t tell me I’m wrong for my opinion because then you’re a bad person.”  But to someone who is gay, who wants the same type life you have. We want to be able to marry the person we love, have and raise our kids, be able to do the same things with our families that everyone else gets to do and what business is it really of yours to say we can’t or should n’t?  To say or post this crap is literally telling gay people “I have my life but you are not worthy of getting these same things because MY bible told me so”. Do you hear how that sounds?  They used the same exact arguments years ago to fight interracial couples getting married and really integration in general. And they even had Bible verses that they claimed backed that up. Sound familiar?  The Bible doesn’t tell you to discriminate against people or treat some as though they are less than yourself. It just doesn’t do that. The people who triumph in the Bible stories are not the group of folks acting as a crowd but the underdog who really needs help but is being trampled or blocked out of the crowd by healthy people.  God is a loving, forgiving, and accepting God. We are all sinners in his eyes and no sin is worse than another. If that’s the case and we’re suddenly a theocracy then we shall outlaw beer, cigarettes, divorce, tattoos, cussing, large portions at restaurants and probably even some of these churches because some of these church leaders are being worshipped like God himself.

Jesus walked amongst the sinners to show us God’s love. He didn’t elevate himself above us and discriminate or exclude those whose lifestyles were not according to the Bible.  He actually protected sinners. So now we have turned around God’s word and snobbed it up in true human fashion. We snub those who don’t conform to what OUR interpretation of the Bible is and group up into cliques and judge like our own mess don’t stink.   

It’s sad that we use this book, this holy book as a tool of hatred and discrimination. We as Christians must learn to appreciate and even celebrate the differences between people. We must remember that faith is personal and our sins are really only between us and God. You are free to have your beliefs but one has to understand the difference between what they believe and what others should be free to do.

If gay people get married, nothing at all happens to your faith, to your marriage, to your life by allowing others to share in the same happiness, and it’s selfish to voice such a strong opinion when you don’t even have a dog in the fight.  As a heterosexual you can get married, have kids, and not have to worry about the expense, time, and hassle of 1 parent having to legally adopt the kid that their partner had so that both people have legal parenting rights. Or you’re allowed to make decisions on your partner’s behalf in the event they are too sick or hurt to do so – or even as simple as being allowed in to see them in the hospital without having to have pre planned (and spent $) to have those legal documents drawn up to allow that ahead of time as well. Whereas bubba and betty sue can get drunk and get those rights automatically after a drunken night at a elvis themed wedding chapel in vegas. Yup soo sanctimonious. Aint it great to be straight!? 

Today...

The Golden Girls on Marriage Equality!

How can you disagree with the Golden Girls?

Relationships Last Longer....

Raw Video: Kiss Cam Catches Obamas

If You Loved Me....

You ever have that friend, lover, etc...whoever say to you "if you loved me you would..." Ok I'll admit that in some cases we would need to appease this desire filled statement and do what they wish. In other cases we as adults or at least as people with our own thoughts, desires, and goals have to make a decision based on what we need, want, or see best for ourselves. The great thing about being an adult is no one else gets a true say in that decision unless we allow them to. In short you may not like everything I do or say but it has no...or at least shouldn't have any bearing on how much you think I care about you. In other words love does not = taking your side in every issue that arises or agreeing with you all the time. (See my old blog about unreasonable expectations of this is what you believe.)

In my opinion, statements like this - which I myself have been guilty of at times - place an unfair burden on the relationship. I should point out I'm not just talking about romantic relationships. We could be talking about your best friend telling you they don't want you to do this or that. A mom could be asking her adult child not to associate with a certain group of people that she doesn't like. In my case - in one example - I felt as though this person could not possibly care about me given a specific conversation we had. Obviously, it was not a pleasant conversation, and the fallout lasted months. In order to forgive my friend I had to come to the realization that her actions did not prove a lack of caring for me. It only proved that her need, wish, desire went against what I wanted. That is not her fault or even her problem. Her only obligation was to be honest with me regarding any part that affects me.

Fights happen and people get emotional and upset. But if you call them your friends you should know and trust them well enough to trust their intentions. 

Constructive Criticism Amongst Friends...

Hello Ladies,

It has been a while since I have written anything on the blog, but there has been something that has been lingering on my mind in regards to how we communicate constructive criticism to our girlfriends. 

Have you ever had a friend that was obviously headed down a wrong path?  I know that we ourselves are not saints, but I’m referring to a time that you can remember when one of your girlfriend’s gauges was completely off…so off that it caught the attention of more than just you.

I’m no licensed psychologist, but I do think that proper communication is a healthy component of any relationship.  Now insert you and one of your best girlfriends, and a little constructive criticism from you to her, and what is the result?  It could be a complete mess if the information isn’t communicated properly.  I think that men easily communicate with each other.  I hear my husband tell stories that make me laugh hysterically about constructive criticism from him to his friends and vice versa.  So what do you do when your friend has put on a little weight and doesn’t look right in her dress, or you can see her muffin top peeping out over her skinny jeans as you all are headed out for a night on the town.  The conversation gets even more complicated when you need to express something that she may perceive as negative about her man.  Does he not treat her well?  Is he cheating on her, and do you have proof?  Or the dreaded “girl he’s just not that into you” conversation.  I’m at a place in my life where I’ve taken to just listening.  I’ve found out that some girls can be sensitive (no, I’m not referring to anyone in particular), and I’ve got my own problems, so some conversations just aren’t worth it.  That’s my opinion this month, anyway.

However, as always, I want to hear from you ladies.  How you do handle those not-so-fun conversations with your girlfriends?  Do you let it all hang out and tell her what’s really on your mind, or do you shy away, and let her figure things out on her own? 

I can’t wait to see the responses!

Until next time,

IvyLeague

Backstabbers!

Recently a friend of mine found herself caught up in a sticky situation and I felt the need to write about it in order to get some things off my chest. This is because when a friend of mine is hurt or done wrong so to speak, I take it personally. Of course I tried to get her to write about this herself but she respectfully declined due to not wanting to step on any toes or anything.  I am not as nice and if I step on someone's toes then as Rhett Butler so eloquently put it in the movie Gone With The Wind, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." 

To make a long story short, I will give the Cliffs Notes version of this story so I can get to my point as quickly as possible without making this post a novel.  My friend had a love interest that she met back months ago. The individual she was interested in was clear they were not ready for a "serious" relationship right now but continued to flirt and give mixed signals to my friend. Yes, this includes going out, talking on a regular basis and yes even being intimate. As previously stated, months went by and they began to get closer and they started going out around each other's friends.  One friend in particular was being flirted with by the love interest when they were all out together, this caused my friend to say something to her friend that made it clear that she would not ever do that because she did not want to hurt her.  She made it clear that she knew my friend was interested in this other person and that she wanted no parts of her love interest.  So please, can someone tell me how in the hell do these two end up together right under my friends nose? The worse part of it all, they think that my friend should still be friends with them. Really?

When did friendship and loyalty go out the window for some people? I am so pissed off about this that I want to call the "so called" now ex-friend and let her know how full of shit she really is and that I really hope that she gets everything that she deserves. I am sure that everyone has heard the old saying, "the same way you got him will be the same way you lose him." As for the love interest, why in the world will you not leave my friend alone now? Haven't you done enough? Do you have an ounce of self respect in your body? Why can't you see that you have done enough damage and move on with your life? I know you can't be so stupid to think that my friend will continue to talk to you and hang out with you and her "so called" ex-friend, right?  You are so lucky that the "so called" friend wasn't a real friend. If she were then you would be somewhere trying to figure out what went wrong with your master plan. I am just happy that my friend is able to rid herself of two people that are not worthy of her being in their lives. It is their loss and her gain.

Picture of The Day - Back Stabbers...

Picture of The Day - Betrayal

How Do You Treat People?

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During  my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
and had breezed through the questions until I read The last one:"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the Cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant... They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello.." I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her name was Dorothy.      

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup In The Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama   highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits.  Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God Bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely,
Mrs.Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always Remember Those Who Serve      

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop      and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the     ice cream, paid the cashier and left.  When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.  There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see,  he couldn't  have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.


4 - Fourth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease.  Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had      
developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save
her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing      
the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her. And he was willing to do it anyway.    

Picture of The Day - Hell Hath No Fury! Pissed...

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find out what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you alone, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better”. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant. Why should he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is just a man, nothing more, nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you too. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. You should not be the one doing all the bending….compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consist of two WHOLE individuals….look for someone complementary- not supplementary. Dating is fun….even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right! Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him, he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. (Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!!!!) Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar, but get to know others…

Author-Unknown

Can People Really Change?

We’ve all made mistakes and will continue to do so until the day we leave this earth. However, there is a difference between making a mistake and having destructive patterns of behavior that repeat themselves. The question here - is it possible for one to change their own patterns of behavior, especially when it means advancement in some part of their life? It could be as simple as getting a new job and having to go to bed early so you can get up early and be on time. Or it could be as complicated as stopping a destructive behavior such as drinking, drugs, or just your own demons keeping you in a holding pattern.

I was listening to John Legend (w/ Snoop Dogg) “I Can Change” when I wrote this. In the song Legend sings about knowing he’s got a good thing in this woman and he better straighten up and fly right so she won’t leave. The song is a great song but I kind of disagree with the premise. While I am not saying that it is impossible for someone to change or wise up, I do think this song does the same thing for relationships that romantic comedies do. They paint this picture of the exception being the rule. Perhaps I’m being too harsh or bitter, but I’m going by what I’ve seen. I think people have the best intentions when it comes to things a lot of times but what is inside them ultimately comes out.

People say once a cheater always a cheater. This is not to say that anyone who has ever cheated on anyone at any time in their lives is a cheater. But can someone who has cheated on everyone they’ve ever been with change their pattern and be faithful to one person? I wouldn’t hold my breath that I’m the one to make them do it if I was you, but anything is possible. I think what often happens is someone feels pressured to change. They don’t want things to end so they do what they have to do to hold it together and either fail and disappoint themselves and/or their partner or succeed and in some cases live unhappily for as long as they can stand it. To quote Ben Harper “I hate to say that I love you because it means that I will be with you forever or we’ll sadly, sadly say goodbye and I love to say that I hate you because it means that I can live my life happily without you or we’ll sadly, sadly, sadly live a lie”. Either it’s going to work and you’ll be happy or it won’t and if you can’t admit it and move on you’ll sit there miserable and resentful.

Let’s say you have found this awesome person, you love each other dearly but you both have qualities or habits the other doesn’t’ like. This is true in any relationship because people are people. Your option in that relationship is to decide to tolerate, deal, accept, or love that quality (i.e. stick around) or say nah this is a deal breaker and chunk up deuces. If you decide to stick around you cannot expect that person to change who they are for you, but sometimes they will try and even succeed. This is rare and if it happens there is no guarantee they will stay happy. I am not saying one should not be willing to compromise in their relationship. It’s just a matter of what each person is willing and able to sacrifice for the greater good of the relationship and still be happy in it. All that said I do feel like if you’ve entered into a relationship with someone or even are pursuing one you’re going to have to compromise at some point and you should be willing to do so because relationships involve more than just one person. How much change would you make for the "right" person or situation?

The Male Perspective: Where is Mr./Mrs. Right?!?

This has been a question that has been asked by people from age 16 to 60. After going through one failed relationship after another, many are left wondering just where this “right” person is and if there is such a thing. We have all been through negative experiences in relationships. From lies being told, deceit, cheating, and the like, all, in most cases, lead to the end of that relationship. And I say in most cases, because for some, and you know I’m telling the truth, they’ll stay in the relationship even after the fact. And THAT is a totally different topic. But for those of us that have some sense of self worth and awareness would cut that relationship short with the quickness. But the underlying affects of consistent failed relationships lead to so many other things, insecurity, skepticism, suspicion, fear, and even bitterness. All of which just complicates the possibility of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right all the more.  So just how does one find the “right” one in a society of lies, deceit and facebook?

Tyler Perry’s movie, “Why Did I Get Married” coined the new phrase, “The 80/20 Rule” that basically states that often, people will leave someone who has 80% of what they want and look for to chase after a person who has the 20% that the one they’re with doesn’t have. With that being a rather factual statement makes one wonder, well if I am with someone and I possess only 80% of what my mate wants, and they desire the 20% of what I don’t have, how am I supposed to have a meaningful relationship? And what seems to happen is when that person gets that 20% and realizes that is ALL they are going to get, now two relationships are destroyed, leaving two, possibly three people broken. It’s amazing what selfish desires can do. Leave a person scarred and left to think that they are insufficient to get a mate and keep them simply because they don’t possess 100% of what someone wants. These pressures drive many to do things to try and enhance their appearance, invest in material things with the hopes that that will somehow increase their chances. Sadly, many never realize that outward appearances are never a substitute for character and personality.

The most important thing for anyone to realize is that they aren’t 80% of anything. When God made you from His very bosom, He didn’t create you with only 80% efficiency or completeness. You were perfectly made, wonderfully made, specifically made. And if you ever appear to be only 80% of anything in the eyes of another, they deny the very perfection that you are, AND themselves. This isn’t about finding the perfect person, who has everything together, never made a mistake in their life. This about people being perfect at being exactly who they are, THEMSELVES. And that alone should be enough for anyone and everyone. Society has created this image that says a person has to look this way, have these things, do this and that to be considered worthy of finding a good man or woman. The only thing you need to truly have is your Faith in Christ and the love you have in your heart for yourself. With those tools at your disposal, you’ll never subject yourself to the first one that shows you attention. You will take your time; analyze the person and situation, PRAY about it long before just jumping in. They have to love you completely, whole-heartedly for who you are.

So to answer the question, where is Mr./Mrs. Right? There is no “Mr. or Mrs. Right”. Only the one that is right for you. My closest friend once told me that just because a man and a woman are good people, doesn’t mean they are good for each other. Be patient. Slow the emotional rollercoaster when someone shows you interest, no matter how nice the initial feeling may be. Give yourself time to get to know them first. And in the meantime, continue to build and work on you. Strive to reach your goals, external and internal. Learn to love you for all of your gifts and abilities as well as your faults and short comings. Embrace the man or woman that God created you to be. It is then and only then, that you will truly be able to share your life with someone else and give them 100% of who you are and be able to receive it from them as well making you right….. for each other.

Suffering In Silence

Over the past couple of weeks, I have had more than one conversation with friends about the number of people we see in abusive relationships. The amount of women and some men that allow themselves to take this treatment from their "so called" loved ones is worrisome. With the amount of literature, support systems and overall awareness out there about abusive relationships there is no reason for people to be caught up in these situations. Why do they continue to put themselves through this abuse? This is the question that I have been asking myself over and over again for over a week now. I have come to the conclusion that it is one of two things. The first reason of course is that they "love" the person that is hurting them. The second is that many of these people do not see themselves as being "abused". Physical abuse is something that is not tolerated nearly as much as verbal abuse. Therefore, if someone is not being physically abused then they do not recognize it as abuse.

What I am not going to do in this post is say that the people that stay in these relationships are weak or lack self respect because that is not the case at all in many of these cases. However, one thing that is present in these relationships is fear. Fear alone is something that is paralyzing and causes us to not act even when we know better. They fear being alone. They fear starting over. They fear what other people may say. They fear so much that they fail to realize what they may actually be able to gain in return for letting go of that fear. What I will say is that the people that are dishing out this abuse to the people they claim to "love" are poor excuses for human beings. I do not care if it is a man or a woman, if you need to control something or someone, then I will recommend looking in the mirror. Either that or you need to go get a dog or some other type of animal to control on your verbal command. You are insecure. You are lacking self love and need to get some professional help before you self destruct. At the end of the day, you will end up alone because no one can take that treatment forever. So please do not say that no one ever told you, cause I just did.

If you are in a relationship with someone that is attempting to control you then you need to put a stop to it today. Tomorrow never comes if that is what you are waiting for so today put an end to the abuse. I am not saying leave, but I am saying stop being an enabler. No one can control another person without their consent. When reading Dr. Phil McGraw's advice on dealing with controlling people, he pointed out a couple of key things that I will reiterate here: 1) You need to ask yourself what it is costing you to be in this relationship? If the answer includes, your dreams, identity, or dignity, then the cost is too high, 2) Start taking responsibility for your actions. How is your behavior enabling your partner? By not dealing with a controlling partner's behavior, you're only enabling it to continue, and 3) Suffering in silence IS NOT LOVE!

Lastly, it goes without saying if you attempt to work things out and cannot get through to the person that is abusive to you then you will need to start working on your exit strategy. The one thing I know is that you will be amazed at the hands that will come out of nowhere to help you start fresh and become your support system. The person that is being abused is never alone but feel they are as a result of the abuse. This is because controlling people are emotional extortionist.

Trust Issues

Ladies, in the days since women began being catered to in the media we have seen story after story about how to know if you’re being cheated on and lied to. When we get to a certain age of dating we have learned not to be naïve about things that we are told by our friends, lovers, potential lovers and friends. We have essentially been put on defense mode at all times. People tell you to guard your heart. And why is this? Because we are so used to dating and talking to some shady fools who have ruined it for us and for the next person who we try to see. You could meet a great guy or gal and they are honest as can be and never give you a reason to doubt them, but the first time they tell you something that either doesn’t make sense or doesn’t sound quite right we are programmed to think the worst so we can catch them in the lie and not be hurt. I must admit guilt to this as well. In past relationships – if you can call them that they were so short- I have had people tell me all kinds of crazy shady stuff. And of course there were times when I believed them, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. Why? Because I wanted to trust them. Cut to now.

I've learned and grown from those experiences but in doing so there is also a kind of loss of innocence. Obviously when speaking of relationships most people want to find their "one" and often when you think you have met someone with potential to be that we give them the benefit of the doubt a little more than we should. Too many times I've done this to where now sometimes I think hmmm so and so is being shady, maybe they are lying or have this ulterior motive for telling me to do this or that. Later on even if they don't realize how you took whatever it was they said or did the wrong way you still feel a little dumb for automatically thinking the worst of them. I've done this and not only did they not have bad intentions they had the best intentions and I missed out because of my suspicions.

Ladies I think the lesson here is still guard your heart but don't build an impenetrable mote around it. You have to trust some people. Of course you are going to get hurt sometimes but heartbreak is part of life and it makes us appreciate more when we meet friends, lovers, etc who are actually good to us and for us.

Cheaters = Liars = Losers

This post may step on some toes but I am at the point of not caring. If you are a person that cheats on another person you are a LOSER! Wake up people, it is 2011 and adults should not be cheating on each other and yet it happens everyday for no “real” reason. There are no valid reasons to cheat, especially today. In a world of open relationships and swinging lifestyles the old reasons for cheating like “sex” are not valid anymore. At the end of the day, the people that are lying and cheating to their significant others are doing so because they are selfish. There is no other way to explain it. These people want to have their cake and eat it too.

In order to cheat successfully, a person will need to tell several lies in order to keep up the first lie. If someone is constantly lying then they cannot be trusted. If they cannot be trusted then they do not need to be in a relationship in the first place. Yet, these people are constantly working their way into other people’s lives and causing heartache. This is because they are LOSERS. The thing that confuses me more than anything is the people that stay in relationships with these people. Think about this for just a moment. No one is born lying. Lying is a characteristic of a cheater. Not everyone that lies cheats, but everyone that cheats does lie. I have always been taught that if someone lies then they will steal. Cheaters will steal a person’s dignity, integrity, self esteem and other key building blocks to the human spirit. They break them down emotionally to the point of it showing up in their physical appearance.

Cheaters are LOSERS for one simple fact and that is because they do it by choice. Anytime a person chooses to hurt someone for their own self interest, then they are one of the lowest forms of life on earth. Both I and many of my friends have been cheated on in the past. This was when I was younger and a lot dumber. The numbers of lies that have been uncovered from past relationships with those LOSERS are crazy. It was not even necessary. If those people that decided to be dishonest and cheat would have just been honest then at least they would have some respect. It is better to be honest and have respect vs. being a LOSER with no respect. It never ceases to amaze me how people that cheat always act as if they really care about the person they are hurting. The do “care” but they do not “care” about the person. What they “care” about is what the person provides them. It may be a home, car, money, or financial security. However, let’s not be fooled into thinking that they actually “care”. Do not ever forget that CHEATERS = LIARS = LOSERS!