Gays, African Americans, A&E, and Those Waiting to be Offended Calm Down!

By now we’re all either tired of hearing about the Duck Dynasty drama or you’re living under a lucky and quiet ROCK.  Just in case you’re peeking out from your rock home I’ll summarize. There’s a reality show about a redneck family. The patriarch of said family said some rednecky things about gays, blacks, and all sinners in an interview. People freaked out and the network, which probably already knew the content of the interview, suspended him indefinitely from the show. Given that they are all done with filming through the next season this will likely go unnoticed since it’ll likely blow over and be resolved before they resume taping.

Since a reality show and its stars are such influential people in how we vote and work to protect and better our communities, of course it’s a huge deal if he has some less than progressive opinions on any such subject matter. It has to be yet another source of divide amongst the people of the internets.  Those who are self-proclaimed die hard Christians claim that redneck dude’s first amendment rights were violated because he was simply expressing his Christian beliefs. Others understand that the first amendment does not protect you from backlash from offended, affected and/or responsible parties when you run your mouth in the wrong situation. And still yet another group thinks this is stupid as hell and doesn’t care who said what and who suspended who.

The reason they don’t care is this issue is …well not really an issue. He is a redneck. Yes he has a show that A & E has made a large effort in its editing to keep us from hearing their political, socio- economic, and other potentially controversial opinions. They are edited to be likeable and the kind of family you want to sit down to eat, pray and drink some of what looks like the most delicious tea ever with! And it works. People from all walks of life love the Robertson family. Obviously not everyone, but there show has a wider non redneck following than one would expect a redneck show to have. Why? Largely because of editing.

What you see on TV is partially the “real” Robertson  family but obviously there is more to the story. There’s parts of their lives we can’t be privy to for the sake of their privacy, the show’s aim and audience, and a number of other reasons. If you have watched the show you have witnessed all the family member’s musings and know that often they ramble on about some crazy shit in a crazy manner not to be taken as wisdom or gospel truth. I wish we could just let this be a tv show star’s crazy ignored comments. No I didn’t mean to type ignorant. I meant ignored as in why do we care so much?!

 In a perfect world the gays and blacks and like minded folks would realize how little this affects them and ignore it.  Christians who feel the need to defend him would not feel the need to rally together to protect a rich, white redneck male (the least discriminated demographic I can think of) because they would recognize that 1. He’s a rambling old man who’s opinion means very little to those involved 2. His life is not horribly impacted because A& E won’t let him be on the show 3. It is a TV show and this is quite potentially a publicity scam to get us to watch and be so grateful Phil is still on there  & 4. While he has the right to believe as he wants and speak how he feels it’s bad when Christians who’s religion is based on love, acceptance, and understanding flock to support hatred, fear, and disgust towards other children of God and use him to do so. We seem to forget that Christianity is about that love and acceptance and not about all the rules that we as people pick and choose which to ignore for ourselves and which to condemn others for.

I leave you with these words as we go into our Christmas and other holiday celebrations. We need to find a way to stop letting every little thing divide us. We have to understand that we are more alike than we are different and focus on those similarities instead of what divides us. Stupid stuff like this should not be used to divide God’s children. Us vs Them never works out. It is a never ending battle of he said/she said. Learn to pick your battles and love one another and give people the benefit of the doubt when they mess up. Life is too short to go around pointing fingers. We’re all doing the best we can to get through this madness.

Tevin Campbell's Round And Round

Courtesy of McLovin here is a throwback for you!

Dear White Americans Who Don’t “Get” Race/Racism

Greetings RLWT readers!! Ya'll already know I couldn't just let that verdict last weekend slide and not write anything about it. While I was gathering my thoughts I came across the article below and felt like this man completely nailed it. So rather than try to top him I think what he had to say about it will convey my point to the masses maybe better than I could have.

Just so that he also gets proper credit please see the bottom for the original link to his post and his blog.
Thanks for reading

Dear White Americans Who Don’t “Get” Race/Racism

July 17, 2013 jamin

(Unnecessary disclaimer: This is not a letter to all White Americans, but it’s for those who “don’t see color” or who feel that we are post-racial in America, think racism is a thing of the past that ended with the Civil War, the Emancipation Proclamation, Amendments 13-15 of the U.S. Constitution, the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act [which was just gutted to remove racial protection enforcement], President Obama’s elections, or any other law or event that somehow magically changed the hearts and minds of Americans. We are not post-racial and y’all really aren’t the proper authority to teach minorities about what is or is not racism in America.)

Dear White Americans Who Don’t “Get” Race/Racism:

I know that it’s hard to explain racism these days. I mean, with the absence of Jim Crow laws and slavery mandates, it’s hard to see racism clearly.

Racism is a gut feeling that something is wrong; an intuition, if you will. But most times, it’s not an intuition that is felt by you, white American who doesn’t “get” what racism is. Racism is associated with power and the ability to oppress others to the point of setting up self-propelled societal systems in which more power flows to one particular group than another. Most minorities don’t have that power unless they are in a management position at a job in which you work under them. What you may feel most times, however, is prejudice. Other races can be prejudiced against you to automatically assume that you prepare bland foods, maintain a washcloth-free irregular bathing schedule, constantly place bewildering and complicated food orders despite a long line behind you, have good credit, have a lot of money, or that you can’t dance on-beat. Social awkwardness, yes. However, none of these prejudices lead to your being part of a group that is maligned in society and thought the worst of enough to have a legal system validate that perception and do things like incarcerate you four times more than someone else of another race for the same crime.

You might believe that I’m a violent suspect by nature and that I am a thug when I wear my hoodie in the rain while walking back to my own home. George Zimmerman racially profiled Trayvon Martin and aside from wannabe white Republicans like Clarence Thomas and attention-seeking @GOPBlackChick from Twitter, most of George Zimmerman’s supporters are conservative white people. Generally, black folks are mad about the verdict and what it represents about the justice system as well as how race was used in the event that killed Trayvon Martin. We know that the way the facts were laid out and presented by the less-than-stellar job the prosecution did could have resulted, at best (according to instructions and Florida law), in a mistrial and felt that it probably was going to end up with a not guilty verdict, but no, we cannot simply let it go because of the overarching problem the entire trial and verdict represents. Are you getting it yet? Rest in peace, Trayvon Martin.

Telling me that race doesn’t matter in the justice system’s application of said justice, or that we are somehow magically post-racial thanks to apparent sorcery afoot from electing Barack Obama president twice, is offensive. Stop it. Your ancestors are responsible for setting the tone for race relations in this country and they failed at repairing those relations starting in 1865, and relatively few have bothered to care ever since. Your ancestors were conquering, enslaving people, yet somehow also the most timid, constantly doing things to oppressively ensure their safety on “top” of the people they conquered. (See: Manifest Destiny.) Conduct a séance to hash that out with your bloodline and stop blaming me and mine for those problems because we “won’t let it go!” Nope. Not going to. Never. Never ever ever.

Nahhh…huh uh. We ain’t doing that.

Richard Cohen, inexplicably still-employed Washington Post opinion writer, stated that black people need to stop being so threatening by fashion choices and perceived violence (I guess from movies, from what he describes). Look here, the onus is not on black people to dress or act in a way that makes you more comfortable if they act just like you. You’re allowed to be yourselves while you riot after your team loses the Stanley Cup or an Orange Bowl. You’re allowed to fall out of bars, drunk, at 3 a.m. on Sunday morning and risk getting hit by passing cars as you bump into them or pound them as they pass.

You’re allowed to do this:

When I moved into my mostly white neighborhood (I was the second person of color in my building and the only black person for over a year, and the only people who said “Hello” back to me for the first six months were my neighbors who parked beside me), I was changing the tags on my car in the parking lot on my birthday. I was dressed in a fitted T-shirt and jeans that hugged my legs pretty well. (I don’t sag my pants.) I also had on casual Skechers shoes and my hair was trimmed neatly and cut close to my scalp. I finished changing my tags and was checking to make sure I hadn’t dropped any screws that could puncture my tires. I had just finished when a couple from my building saw me looking around my car WITH MY OLD TAGS, REGISTRATION, AND TAG HOLDERS IN MY HAND, and asked what I was doing.

Her: “Can I help you?”

Me: *ignores her*

Her: “Can I help you?!”

Me: “Excuse me? No.” *continues to look*

Her: “Well, it looks a little odd with you snooping around the parking lot looking at cars.”

Wisely, her husband noticed my face rising up with the fury of my whipped ancestorsand quietly ducked around her, put his suitcase into the car and got inside. Smart man. On the other hand, this dumb, racist, inessential waste-of-creation [expletive deleted] decided to keep standing there.

So, I canceled out the idea of loudly cursing her out in my quiet neighborhood so bad that Eve would feel it in Heaven, and decided (staring her down, voice shaking with anger and wanting to lodge the old tags into her skull) to say, “I just changed the tags on MY car.” I showed her the visible tags, looked at her with disgust, and loudly armed my own luxury car.

(Fellow beloved Negroes, I know I owed her no explanation.) I wasn’t dressed in any fashion foreign to how everyone else dressed in the neighborhood. Enjoyably, her face was broken and she always spoke to me after that, even going so far as to hold the front door open for me, even if she saw me coming from a half block away.

Stuff like THAT doesn’t make ME feel safe around YOU. Yet, you’re allowed to live and not considered violent, even though most murders of white people are committed by other white people (Justice Department PDF), which is very high considering y’all are the most populous group in the U.S. and more spread out than minorities, who mostly stay concentrated in one area. So, let US live in the peace and freedom from prejudice that you so obviously enjoy!

You picking up what I’m putting down yet?

Racism, American-style, today is more like this: Let’s say that I punch you in your neck with all my weight behind it. You can’t see the pain. You tell me that it hurts and you might be irreparably damaged from it. I tell you that it doesn’t hurt and it’s not really pain. You’re exaggerating. I whine about how you’re accusing me of doing something that no one can visibly see until someone comes to my aid to scold you for speaking up about your pain and your accusing me of something no one can see. I’m whisked away somewhere away from you where I can resume punching folks in the neck. You’re still there in pain, hurting, and no one believes you or cares about your pain.

That is how racism feels – unseen and ofttimes subtle. And you can’t tell me that it doesn’t hurt just because you can’t see it. I say this all in love because God knows I don’t hate white people, but I really want those who don’t “get” it to hear me and get it together. We all have biases against someone for something, but let’s stop saying racism is over. Because, NAWL!

Love,

jamin

(P.S. – Stop Trayvoning too. Like, really?)


This and further comments from readers and the author can be found here:

http://keenepointofview.com/blog/2013/07/17/dear-white-americans-who-dont-get-raceracism/#comment-452

Insightful thoughts about the Zimmerman trial...

I must first say that I did not write this. It was posted by a friend who also did not write it with the following caption. I repost because this needs to be said.

Insightful thoughts about the Zimmerman trial from a very thoughtful leader, theologian and pastor in the Christian social gospel movement for decades. 


Lament from a White Father
By Jim Wallis 

It’s time for white people — especially white parents — to listen, to learn, and to speak out on the terribly painful loss of Trayvon Martin.
If my white 14-year-old son Luke had walked out that same night, in that same neighborhood, just to get a snack he would have come back to his dad unharmed — and would still be with me and Joy today. Everyone, being honest with ourselves, knows that is true. But when black 17-year-old Trayvon Martin went out that night, just to get a snack, he ended up dead — and is no longer with his dad and mom. Try to imagine how that feels, as his parents.

It was a political, legal, and moral mistake to not put race at the center of this trial because it was at the center from the beginning of this terrible case. Many are now saying, “There was a trial; the results must be accepted.” How well the case against George Zimmerman was prosecuted, how fair the tactics of the defense were, the size and selection of the jury, how narrowly their instructions were given — all will be the subject of legal discussions for a very long time.

But while the legal verdicts of this trial must be accepted, the larger social meaning of court cases and verdicts must be dealt with, especially as they impact the moral quality of our society.

This is not just about verdicts but also about values. 

And the impact of race in and on this case, this trial, and the response to it around the country must now all be centrally addressed.

There is no doubt that this whole tragedy began with the racial profiling of Trayvon Martin. In George Zimmerman’s comments, rationales, and actions, the identity of Trayvon as a young black man was absolutely central. Both sides in the courtroom admitted that.

And when the defense put up as a witness a white woman who had been robbed by a black man as central to why Zimmerman picked out Trayvon Martin to follow and stalk — it really said it all. Was she robbed by Trayvon Martin? No. So why should he be suspect because of another black robber? That is racial profiling. Period.

As the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. said in his most famous “I Have a Dream” speech, whose 50th anniversary is coming up this August 24th:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

King’s dream failed on February 26, 2012, in Sanford, Fla., when George Zimmerman decided to follow Trayvon Martin because of the color of his skin. This led to a confrontation in which a child was killed by an adult who got away with it, because of the way Florida laws were written and interpreted.

What exactly happened between Zimmerman and Martin will never be known, because the boy is dead and the adult did not have to testify and be cross examined. How a black boy responded to a strange man who was following him, and what the stranger did with that, is a story we can never really know. But regardless of the verdict that rests on narrow definitions of self-defense and reasonable doubt, it is absolutely clear that racial profiling was present in this whole incident.

And racial profiling is a sin in the eyes of God. It should also be a crime in the eyes of our society, and the laws we enact to protect each other and our common good.

White parents should ask black parents what they were talking about with their children this weekend. It is a long-standing conversation between black dads and moms, especially with their boys, about how to carefully behave in the presence of police officers with guns. Now they must add any stranger who might have a gun and could claim they were fearful of a black man and had to shoot. The spread of legalized carried-and-concealed weapons and the generous self-defense laws that accompany the guns will lead to the death of more black men in particular.

Death is horrible enough. But systematic injustice — one that allows white boys to assume success, yet leads black boys to cower from the very institutions created to protect our own wellbeing — is a travesty. Listen to the stories from Saturday and Sunday nights, of 12-year-old black boys who asked to sleep in bed with their parents because they were afraid. If black youth in America can’t rely on the police, the law, or their own neighborhood for protection — where can they go?

This is one of those painful moments which reveal an utterly segregated society, in reality and perception alike. White people have almost no idea of what black people are thinking and feeling — even the parents of their children’s friends from school or sports teams who are black. Trust me: most white people over this past weekend, whether conservatives or liberals, had almost no idea of what was happening in virtually every black family in America.

Finally, there is a religious message here for all Christians. If there ever was a time that demonstrated why racially and culturally diverse congregations are needed — that time is now. The body of Christ is meant, instructed, and commanded by Christ to be racially inclusive. If white Christians stay in our mostly-white churches and talk mostly to each other we will never understand how our black brothers and sisters are feeling after a terrible weekend like this one. It was the conversation of every black church in America on this Sunday, but very few white Christians heard that discussion or felt that pain.

White Christians cannot and must not leave the sole responsibility of telling the truth about America, how it has failed Trayvon Martin and so many black Americans, solely to their African American brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s time for white Christians to listen to their black brothers and sisters, to learn their stories, and to speak out for racial justice and reconciliation. The country needs multi-racial communities of faith to show us how to live together.

To Those Who Just Don’t Get it!

This week was an historic time in the fight for gay people’s civil rights. The gay community has been celebrating the victory as we should be. But we also know we still have a lot of work to do before we truly have equality amongst those who disagree.  I will say this. I haven’t heard a good argument against gay marriage being legal yet. So if you have one other than it’s not natural, it’s against the Bible, procreation, imposing our “immoral” beliefs, scantity of marriage blah blah blah give it to me. There’s a comments section, speak up!

This week I have seen very few negative posts on my timelines about it. Most people are just not weighing in or they have been posting supportive things. I have seen a couple posts here and there and some really offended me. The main one I saw was this little diddy:

It’s deceptively packaged in wording that makes it sound like “this is harmless, I do not wish you harm, and don’t tell me I’m wrong for my opinion because then you’re a bad person.”  But to someone who is gay, who wants the same type life you have. We want to be able to marry the person we love, have and raise our kids, be able to do the same things with our families that everyone else gets to do and what business is it really of yours to say we can’t or should n’t?  To say or post this crap is literally telling gay people “I have my life but you are not worthy of getting these same things because MY bible told me so”. Do you hear how that sounds?  They used the same exact arguments years ago to fight interracial couples getting married and really integration in general. And they even had Bible verses that they claimed backed that up. Sound familiar?  The Bible doesn’t tell you to discriminate against people or treat some as though they are less than yourself. It just doesn’t do that. The people who triumph in the Bible stories are not the group of folks acting as a crowd but the underdog who really needs help but is being trampled or blocked out of the crowd by healthy people.  God is a loving, forgiving, and accepting God. We are all sinners in his eyes and no sin is worse than another. If that’s the case and we’re suddenly a theocracy then we shall outlaw beer, cigarettes, divorce, tattoos, cussing, large portions at restaurants and probably even some of these churches because some of these church leaders are being worshipped like God himself.

Jesus walked amongst the sinners to show us God’s love. He didn’t elevate himself above us and discriminate or exclude those whose lifestyles were not according to the Bible.  He actually protected sinners. So now we have turned around God’s word and snobbed it up in true human fashion. We snub those who don’t conform to what OUR interpretation of the Bible is and group up into cliques and judge like our own mess don’t stink.   

It’s sad that we use this book, this holy book as a tool of hatred and discrimination. We as Christians must learn to appreciate and even celebrate the differences between people. We must remember that faith is personal and our sins are really only between us and God. You are free to have your beliefs but one has to understand the difference between what they believe and what others should be free to do.

If gay people get married, nothing at all happens to your faith, to your marriage, to your life by allowing others to share in the same happiness, and it’s selfish to voice such a strong opinion when you don’t even have a dog in the fight.  As a heterosexual you can get married, have kids, and not have to worry about the expense, time, and hassle of 1 parent having to legally adopt the kid that their partner had so that both people have legal parenting rights. Or you’re allowed to make decisions on your partner’s behalf in the event they are too sick or hurt to do so – or even as simple as being allowed in to see them in the hospital without having to have pre planned (and spent $) to have those legal documents drawn up to allow that ahead of time as well. Whereas bubba and betty sue can get drunk and get those rights automatically after a drunken night at a elvis themed wedding chapel in vegas. Yup soo sanctimonious. Aint it great to be straight!? 

The Gays and the Chicken

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or don’t have facebook or twitter (same difference, right?) you already know about the recent fire that chic-fil-a has come under for its stance on gay marriage.  Along those same lines I’ve seen several articles about other restaurants and businesses that, as concerned citizens of our world, we should not patronize - Jimmy John’s, White Castle, and Waffle House to name a few.

In America where we have free speech we can all agree that Mr Cathy has the right to say or believe whatever he wants. There are even those who say well he’s only 1 vote and has the right to believe and vote how he wants. While both of these are 100% true, neither of these are the issue. The real issue is that these companies are donating large sums of money to the cause of discriminating against others who believe differently than them.  Folks wake up! This is YOUR money that YOU spent on nuggets and hash browns that is now going to help discriminate against people. It shouldn’t matter if you’re gay or straight or black or white we cannot allow discrimination against anyone.

Let’s think back to past civil rights movements. There was a time when it was widely accepted that blacks were inferior to whites, Women were inferior to men and legally others had the right to discriminate against those groups. This type of thought is ludicrous now, and why? Because those groups (and those in other demographics who felt strongly enough to support them) marched and protested and did what was necessary to fight for their rights … OUR rights.  These people were sprayed with hoses and tear gassed while fighting for their rights, and right now we can’t seem to get it through to some folks that we are all human and it is NOT ok to harm us or deny us basic rights because of who we are even if it’s different than you.

Granted, we as gay people don’t have separate water fountains and we don’t have to stage sit-ins to be allowed access to local establishments, but our rights are not what they should be. One of the main pro-CFA arguments is that chic-fil-a doesn’t discriminate against gay patrons and gay employees. That argument is seriously equivalent to saying to someone “We’re not racist. We have lots of black people as friends” or “we let you in the house when the weather’s bad”. All you’re doing is telling me how you humble yourself to be nice to me on occasion and I should feel lucky to be treated human in that way. In the meantime, you go behind my back and deny me basic rights.   Right now is our time to fight for what we need and deserve. This country was founded on religious freedom and that means freedom from religion if you choose not to participate.  So you want to run your company on Christian values. That’s great! I myself am a Christian, and as such I think that one should respect all people’s right to do what makes them happy as long as no harm comes to others. But when you take your beliefs and donate what ultimately is your customers’ money to a cause it should not be one whose purpose is to discriminate against many of the people who patronized you and brought you success as well as some of the very people you employ (who also helped make you successful). That’s a moral issue not a legal one.

No one is arguing that he has the right to do it, but suppose it was for a more obviously (and widely accepted as such) wrong and discriminatory group.  Let’s say for instance that McDonalds gave a huge donation to the KKK.  If you were seen with a big mac you would likely be chastised by any and everyone you came across. Why? Because what was acceptable 50 years ago as people standing up for what they believe in is now known to be just a bunch of bigots discriminating on people because of the color of their skin.

The message here for my straight Christian friends who believe that this is a free speech issue. It’s not. You have been duped by your churches, the media, and any other influence who gathered you all in masses for the cause of defending Dan Cathy’s freedom of speech. (and making record amounts of money for Dan Cathy and a hellish day at work for the chic-fil-a employees). Most people at some point in our country’s history (or present in many cases) fall into a demographic which are, have been, or will be in the future discriminated against based on some part of you that you wouldn’t change even if you could. Women, we couldn’t vote or own property. Think about that as you go to the polls in Nov and make that mortgage payment every month. Black people, shoooot, we couldn’t use their toilets, drink their water, marry EACH OTHER and don’t even THINK of marrying a white person! I believe that in their hearts they really believe they are doing what’s right. I pray that through the love of God they will see that they have been fear mongered into these beliefs and reconsider their position on this to one of love and inclusion.

I think the message here, gay people and supporters, is that we have to step up our game. As it stands, they are well within their rights to donate money however they want. So if we want to celebrate companies who give to our cause we have to accept that companies are going to go against us too. We need to organize, and work harder to seek out companies who do support us. Don’t bitch about your enemies because negative publicity is the best way to send people running there in droves to support them. Note the crowds at every chic-fil-a all day yesterday. Our organizations that work hard to fight for our rights need our financial help. We can’t just NOT give our money to those who don’t support us. We have to give our $ or our time or whatever we can afford to give in the fight for our own rights.  And we need to make moves that make sense and are not just based out of the "that'll really piss 'em off" principle. Obviously, we must stand up for ourselves but there is also a lot of room for some bridge building. 

Here’s something to consider. Tomorrow Aug 3 is lesbian kiss day where we’re supposed to go kiss in a chic-fil-a.  I have seen postings for some Christian organizations who are actually wanting to be there to show us love in counter protest. If they are successful and that goes well it could be a wonderful day for the two communities and their relations. If we as a community go there with our hearts, ears, and mouth ready to open dialogue rather than with our fists ready to fight, imagine the common ground we could reach across the country!

10 Great Smartphone Applications!!

I know a lot of you have smart phones like androids, and blackberrys and iphones. I have compiled a list of my favorite apps for these devices. Most of these are available at least on both android and iphone. Some you may know about and some you may wonder why you didn’t already know about. Either way I hope you enjoy the list and that at least some of you find something you didn’t know you needed.

1. Groupon

This app allows you to not only search through and purchase available offers on the groupon service. You can also use the app to present the deal to the establishment rather than printing anything out. This is one of my favorites because it makes using the groupon service that much easier.

2. Shazam

This app will id any song playing when you run it and tell it to “listen”. Great for when that mystery song comes on the radio or at the bar!

3. Dropbox

Many are familiar with the dropbox service for your computer. This allows your phone to share in the action of allowing you to access documents as well as put them in the dropbox for future access

4. Remote For iTunes

This app allows your android phone to control your itunes playback using your home wifi to communicate. With both the computer and the phone connected to the same network (and itunes running as well) you can select what song or playlist to play, and control volume and other settings. If you’re nerdy like me and have multiple pc’s yes you can program the app to control itunes on all of them. You’ll just have to make sure the correct pc is selected to control.

5. Tango

This is your standard video call application. It ties to your phone number so once you sign up you can see which of your friends have signed up and tied their numbers to tango. I’ve used other similar programs but I like this one a little better for some reason.

6. Waze

This app is part GPS part social networking. Of course you can use it for directions since it’s a GPS app. However, built into this app is a way of passing along traffic sightings to anyone who wishes to join the Waze community. You can report anything from stalled cars on the road to police car sightings to standstill traffic jams. When you sign up for the app you will find different groups for your area based most of the time on where people are driving to and from to get to work and back. You can start a group that’s more fitting for your own commute or join one that fits your needs. When people report things they get the opportunity to report to specific groups.

You can also program your favorite destinations into the app for easy access. There are some goofy parts of it such as picking your car icon, setting your mood, and picking up these little point pellets – which most of the time are not on your direct route as though you’re going to forget you’re going somewhere and go “pacmanning” all around the streets of your city. Most recently in an update they have added a gas price feature. Overall a handy app to know when there are traffic jams ahead that you should avoid.

7. Moe's

This is for the Moe’s fan on the go. I love Moe’s but going there at certain times of the day sucks because of the long line just to get to start the process of going down the line to order bit by bit. This app removes that part of your Moe’s experience. You order on the app and pay with a credit card. When you go to the store you just walk directly to the register and pick up your already paid for order. For me this app is Heaven sent since I only have a half hour for lunch. The only thing to watch out for is if you open it in a quiet area if your media volume is up it yells “Welcome to Moe’s!!!” 

8. Team viewer

This app is one of my favorites. I already have this on my pc’s and use it to access one from the other. This app allows you to sign in and access any of your account pc’s from your phone.

This is very helpful if you need a file or just remote access to your pc. I’ve even used it to remote in and shut down my pc when I wasn’t home and saw it was about to storm really badly.

9. Ibiker

Unlike every other app on here this is an exclusively iphone/ipod app. I use this for when I go out riding my bike. The GPS allows it to track my path, speed, calories burned, and other statistics about my rides. It stores all of these so you can look back on your results. The app will even notify you when you break previous records – such as longest distance ridden, longest time riding, and most calories burned. Don’t let the title fool you it also can be used for running, walking, hiking and other activities.

10. Hey Tell

The best way I can describe Hey Tell is it is like an audio text message device. This allows you to send little audio clips back and forth and essentially have not necessarily real time voice conversations. I know lots of people hate texting. This could be the answer for them in certain situations. 

Movie Review: Something Borrowed

Monday night I had the pleasure of seeing the movie Something Borrowed starring Kate Hudson, Ginnifer Goodwin, Colin Egglesfield, and John Krasinski. I went in thinking this movie was just going to be a typical romantic comedy where crazy circumstances keep them apart or bring them together and blah blah. It wasn’t until afterwards when I sat down to process what I had seen and develop my ideas for this article that it hit me that the movie had a point…a lesson even.

The movie starts out with Rachel (Goodwin) walking into her own surprise party thrown by Darcy (Hudson) where she is quite obviously not truly surprised. In the scenes that follow and throughout the movie you see that the girls have been really close friends for a long long time. We also learn that Darcy is engaged to marry Dex (Egglesfield), Rachel’s good friend and study partner from law school. We soon learn that the catch here is that Rachel and Dex are obviously in love with each other and the only reason they are not together is because Rachel assumed she didn’t deserve him and passed him off to Darcy years ago. This brings me to my point for today. Right now we live in this airbrushed, skinny model bitch, this is what we should look like type world. The fact is most women don’t look like this. We let our insecurities tell us we’re not pretty or smart or good enough in whatever way(s) to get what we want out of life. Ladies, I’m not just talking about getting that cute man you’ve been eying. I’m talking about jobs, promotions, and yes of course that mate you are too shy to go for.

Some of you are saying well wait this is a romantic comedy of course she gets the guy and vice versa. I realize this. That is not the point. The point is that she should have gone for it years ago. She knew how she felt and didn’t act on it. I know we’re all guilty of looking up and realizing we missed a chance because we were too slow to act on it. I’m not trying to chastise anyone because lord knows I’m the queen of it. I really just want to inspire you to know that you are all beautiful and capable and deserve what you want. Don’t stop trying. Oh and go see Something Borrowed it’s a good movie and even the men in the audience seemed to really like it. Hudson is hilarious as the shallow but needy Darcy. Colin Egglesfield is a good looking dude for you ladies who need some eye candy. The scenes with John Krasinski are some of the funniest ones in the movie.

Samsung Galaxy Tablet

OMG you guys!! I just got this tablet and it is truly the ish!! For those who don’t know this thing is like a large Android cell phone. I say large but ladies it fits in your purse quite easily and I could even fit it in the back pocket of my jeans. That said the screen is big enough to comfortably read a book or watch a movie on.

When I got it the first thing I did was install all the same apps that I use on my android phone onto this device. Then I figured out some great apps that I never bothered with on the phone. The most obvious choices for these are the Amazon kindle and Barnes and Noble nook apps. I downloaded some samples of some books just to see how comfortable it was to read them on this device without committing to buying them in this format. I must say I’m impressed. To be honest it is bigger than if you got the paperback version of a book and not much smaller than if the book was in hard cover.

The thing about this device is that it is so much more than an e-reader ever dared to be. It’s much more portable than a laptop and more comparable to its functionality as far as the things you can do on it. Android phones are very popular now –partially thanks to brands like Samsung putting out many of these phones in the last year or so – so many people will already be familiar with how to use this device.

To be honest the possibilities of what you can do with this device are only as limited as what apps you can find for it, and there are tons out there.

Hardware and memory wise it boasts 2 gigs internal and a 16 gig micro SD card is included with the device. It runs the android OS 2.2 which allows you to run apps off the SD card as well. It has a front facing camera and a rear facing camera with a flash. I would definitely recommend this over any of the e-readers if you want something that does just a little bit more –or a lot more for that matter.

Jealousy

Alright so this goes sort hand in hand with the cheating blog from a couple days ago. But not all jealousy is related to cheating. Sometimes it could simply be that someone has something or someone that you want.
Now the emotion of jealousy has terrible connotation but the fact is we all get jealous of someone for one reason or another at some points in our lives. Sometimes a little jealousy isn't that bad for things. For example, your significant other enjoying you getting a little bothered seeing them talk to someone else. I'm not talking about you flipping out and making an ass of yourself because you think you saw something that didn't really happen. I'm talking about maybe just a little facial expression or sign like hmmm should I be worried. I have to admit being called out on this very thing and I thought "oh shit!"
Now, this could have been a lot worse. Sometimes we allow our jealousy to cause us to do crazy shit. Some people get so jealous they're driving by their lover's house at all hours, invading our partner's privacy going through their phone and/or emails, or showing our ass in public. This is when it becomes a problem. You have let jealousy take you over and override your good sense and rational thought. This can only have a negative effect on the situation which you have now made worse.
Often times we feel our jealousy and resulting actions are totally justified. You think well I deserve that promotion or that raise or that man, woman, money, prize or whatever it is. But the fact remains it is not yours and I believe it wasn't meant to be. It sucks to admit to ourselves that we don't get to have what we want. It really sucks to be so overcome with jealousy based on incorrect info, go confront the situation in the worst possible way only to find out you were dead wrong. I know we aren't perfect and we all make mistakes but it's not always about your feelings. Think about the true consequences. Is it worth it if you happen to be wrong?

Cheating

Yeah I Said it. It's a hot button topic. There's lots to be said about it. Why people do it? What is considered cheating? Should the relationship end automatically if one person cheats? One could write pages and pages and pages about the subject and still never cover all aspects.

A good friend and I recently had a discussion about cheating. While she and I are going to have to agree to disagree on this one her opinion was an interesting one. Basically, it was that if you get cheated on you can often times blame it on yourself. I thought wow that's crazy! I'll admit that in some cases people you are with are not the easiest to deal with in some or many respects and thus you would be tempted to do something drastic like leave or at least go exact revenge by having a night of fun without them. In other cases the same concept could be applied to something more serious. For example, lets say at one point you and your significant other had a great relationship but now life has sort of come between you. You don't just have nice talks like before so one or both parties stray to others at first just for some good talks. Eventually feelings start to rise and next thing you know there's an attraction.

This is where the question of what is considered cheating really comes in. At this point technically these people have done nothing wrong, or have they? They have now allowed another party to fulfill things that their partner should be doing for them. In my opinion that's when it really walks the line of cheating. I would say if that's all that happened then all would be well. The problem is it all too often does not stop there and then they proceed on to physical expressions which no matter how small or "insignificant" are still cheating.

In between these two stages is where the partner often starts to notice because you're obviously getting that need filled somewhere else because you're not asking them to do it anymore. Well this is where I see her point because well you had your chance and you ignored the wish so they found someone else to take care of it. It was a need, not a want. Because of our survival instincts as humans we will always do whatever we feel it takes to fulfill a need.

There are other instances where the question of is it cheating is very very obvious. If your spouse is home taking care of the kids and you're all out at the club on some stranger well that's definitely cheating. This is an example of one I feel is disproving her point that this is why people cheat: Sometimes you are happy at home. Fulfilled at home but you just find yourself in a tempting situation. Your spouse is great and wonderful but damn this _____ is fine and I just wanna taste it one time. Ok maybe once more cause she at the club again. Ok no no this is the last time. It's like being on a diet and you know you should stick to the salad at home. It's delicous and good for you and you love having it. But this girl is Mcdonalds and sometimes I think there's crack in those fries.

Happy Easter Everyone!!

Ok I just want to ask you all, how many found that statement offensive? I f you did why did it offend you? I think it’s interesting that in the last several years of trying to be “PC” and inclusive of everyone that we have started to extinguish our own culture and traditions. If Christmas was our tradition then why is it offensive to tell someone Merry Christmas? If they choose not to celebrate that they could simply reply back with “have a nice day” or whatever the salutation for their holiday of choice for the season and we could all keep it moving.

I heard a news story about school kids and they had to call Easter Eggs “spring spheres” or something instead. I mean ok they are Easter Eggs. You’re learning about your own or someone else’s culture. What is the harm in that? We sang about and made dreidels in elementary school and let’s just say there was a tiny percentage of Jewish people in the whole school if any at all – know what I mean Vern? No one got offended about it. We were just learning about something other than our ways.

I think my point here is that the way for us to be inclusive is to learn as much about any culture who is willing to share and teach anyone who is willing to learn about our own.

Junk Food vs. the World

Ok I don’t know about you guys but I am so tired of how litigious our society has become. We sue at the drop of a hat. There are people that go to great lengths of hoping for something they can sue for so they can get their millions and quit their job. Some people even go so far as to create the situations falsely. We all remember the lady who “found’ a severed finger in her Wendy’s meal a few years ago and came out later and admitted she planted it there so she could sue. This woman was so selfishly wrapped up in her get rich quick scheme that she ignored who might get punished or fired or even simply be let go in connection with her false accusation.

Most recently I am hearing about the story of a woman who is suing McDonalds because in short she herself is a crappy parent who cannot regulate her child’s television time and food intake. She claims the issue is that her kids see the commercials on TV and that they are advertising to the kids not the parents. Seems she should simply be able to tell the kids no. If they don’t listen or continue to protest or beg this is not the fault of McDonalds or any other company. In the end they are YOUR kids and you have the final say on what you feed them.

There are plenty of parents whose kids don’t get to eat fast food or drink sodas at all or if they do it’s rare. I know it's hard to imagine, but there are people who have managed to overcome the evil McDonald’s commercials on the TV and simply told their kids NO. That or they have raised them eating healthy food so they won’t even want to touch fast food.

The thought process behind lawsuits of this nature is in my opinion dangerous. It illustrates a growing sense of entitlement in people since the woman is saying “nothing I don’t want my kids to see should be broadcast on TV”. In a previous post my fellow blogger Bobbi Jean stated that she watches certain things with her kids instead of simply blocking it and wanting them to think it doesn’t exist. She does this so she can explain things to her kids rather than sweeping them under the rug for them to be shocked by later when they have to deal with it on their own. Wouldn’t it make more sense to say to your kids, like with anything else you’re saying no to, well we cannot eat that all the time because it is not good for you. The bottom line here is if you can’t tell your kids no to something and then deal with it with the child or children then your problem is much greater than what McDonalds puts in its commercials and happy meals to lure children to them. It also raises the question if you can’t say no to a happy meal how are you going to teach them right from wrong about any and everything else they may come across. You won’t be able to always remove your children from situations or people they shouldn’t be influenced by. As a parent, you have to make yourself a stronger influence in their life. Don’t let a stupid commercial for some junk food and a toy that will break an hour after they get it overrule your say so as a parent.

Irrational Fears

Many people have fears and phobias. Some of which are simply dealt with by avoiding whatever it is we’re afraid of. Some people are afraid of public speaking, certain animals, small spaces, crowds, etc. The list goes on and on. Some fears go a little bit further and lead to involuntary paralyzing responses from the person experiencing them.

For example, I myself am TERRIFIED of snakes. It goes beyond a level of ew I don’t like them. I have regularly occurring nightmares, or sometimes I’ll even simply close my eyes to go to sleep and my brain pops up images of them. Immediately I open my eyes up and sometimes literally jump up out of bed.

I think my admittedly irrational fear of these creatures has gotten much worse over the years. About 10 years ago some friends and I had been camping. As we were hiking back to our car to leave alongside the path there was a coiled up snake. By the time we noticed it, we were right next to it. We took off running and luckily no one was hurt. I remember getting far enough away to stop and actually looking behind me as though it was going to chase us.

During that incident when I went to look back my friend joked that I’d seen too many Anaconda movies. I laughed at the joke, but in all honesty I cannot watch shows or movies with snakes in them. If one is shown unexpectedly I have to look away or change the channel. Obviously, I know that the snake can’t hurt me from my dreams or the TV or a movie. However, it is the irrational fear or phobia that illicit the reaction.

According to the Wikipedia article on Phobia’s they are defined as “a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding despite the fear, typically disproportional to the actual danger posed, often being recognized as irrational”. Essentially, you know it’s ridiculous and highly unlikely to hurt you, but the mind is a complex entity with lots of power to convince us otherwise.

I decided to write this article after I was sitting outside in my backyard last night while my dog ran around the back yard and my mind was racing wondering if any snakes were around or could they sneak upon me? Would I be able to get inside fast enough? What about the dog? I should point out that I have never seen a snake around my property even. Not to say they’re no where around but they don’t really like people sooooo they probably wouldn’t “step to me” like "what up I came to bite yo ass."

Something that I decided to look into was the causes and treatments for this type of thing. For the causes I read that it can be caused by a parent or sibling’s reaction to those stimuli even if you didn’t see whatever it was. I guess the thought behind this is that “wow if they’re freaking out this thing must be pretty bad”. Then the idea of it becomes much worse than the thing itself. I think this is what caused it for me. I remember my mom at least once freaking out seeing a snake in our yard. I didn’t see it and when I asked her to describe it the description she gave was sooo cartoonish that I know now it couldn’t have possibly looked like this. She just didn’t want to scare me. Well short term it worked. Long term OMG I feel like I’m ruint sometimes lol. I think she’s actually less afraid of them than me. A while back I was home and she was watching snakes on a plane. I couldn’t even go downstairs until it was over. So thanks Mom for robbing me of the viewing pleasure of that Samuel L. Jackson flick!

As for the treatments I’ve read about things such as virtual reality or imagery being used to desensitize the patient. Of course, this sounds like they’re going to show me pics of snakes and make me just deal with it. There are other treatments available besides those two of course, and for anyone with similar fears or phobias or just similar issues with their own fears I can only say that I am not a medical professional and would recommend consulting one if you feel you need help. My purpose in writing this article was simply to reach out to and bring some light to these type conditions. My hope is that those suffering as well as those who care about them can have a greater understanding of it.

HTC Thunderbolt vs. HTC Evo

I’m sure there’s other techie ladies out there like myself. This blog entry is definitely for you. I love discussing this stuff so at the end if you have questions, comments, points for discussion speak up.

I was inspired to write this particular blog after switching from the Evo 4g to the Thunderbolt and of course their respective carriers. The main reason for the switch was the lack of reception in my house and other places I often go. Out of fairness to the carriers because no carrier works everywhere so that is taken into consideration in any comparisons I might make. However, I intend to really do more of a comparison of phone to phone.

Prior to switching I was simply doing it for the better reception in my house as I previously stated. Having read specs on the Thunderbolt and comparing it to the Evo I thought “ok cool, this is just an Evo on Verizon’s network with more storage.” I even ran my know-it-all mouth to a friend who, let’s just say knew better, and I’m sure wanted to say something but didn’t. Fast forward 4 days when I finally got this phone and started using it. Let me just say this is me publicly EATING MY WORDS. The Thunderbolt said I see your Evo and I will crush it in my hands!

The first thing one notices is the screen. Its color is so brilliant you realize what you haven’t been seeing on the Evo’s screen immediately. There is no need for side by side it’s very obvious. It’s slightly more responsive but the Evo did not have any response time problems.

Ok here’s where it is absolutely imperative to do a comparison of network to network on these phones. The main reason is the vast difference between the wimax 4g and the LTE 4g. Again same friend tried to tell me how much better LTE is. During the last few days that the Evo was activated I did some speed tests in different places and got results ranging from 1.10 down/1.47 up to 10.07 down/3.09 up. The average was about 5.93 Mbps over the course of 4 days. These are decent results especially from a cell phone. When I got the Thunderbolt and ran speed tests there I was blown away!! On the first speed test I ran I got 21Mbps down/35Mbps up. I ran other tests and would get results around 13-15Mbps down/20 – 30+ Mbps up. I’m sure that the first week that I had the Thunderbolt I ran so many speed tests they probably thought I was crazy! It paid off. One night around 3am I did a test and got my “high score” of 35Mbps down. Using the mobile hotspot app (free until May 15^th) I can tether my laptop at speeds comparable and in some cases faster than my home uverse internet.

There are a number of things that are the same on these phones. Both have an 8mp camera with dual LED flash and a 1.3 mp front camera. Both have a 1000 MHz snapdragon processor. However, the Thunder bolt boasts an updated version of the processor (MSM8650 vs. MSM8655). The performance of the phone’s screens and menus is noticeably faster and smoother than the Evo. They also improved upon the design of certain functions such as copy/cut/paste making them easier to use on the Thunderbolt.

The Thunderbolt also sports an upgraded kickstand from the Evo. The kickstand is wider yet not intrusively wide. The wider kickstand gives it more stability and allows it to be used to steady the phone in either orientation. The Evo’s kickstand only works in Landscape orientation (it’s too small *snicker*). The one thing the the Thunderbolt does not have is the hdmi out that the Evo did. It baffles me why they would remove this feature from the phone, but in the grand scheme of things it’s not that big of a deal. The Thunderbolt is also significantly lighter than the Evo. I had both in my hands and the Evo without a case was still heavier than the Thunderbolt with its hard case.

I personally really love the Thunderbolt and I’m glad I made the switch to this phone.

Arthur Starring Russell Brand

Arthur, the soon to be released remake of the 1981 Dudley Moore classic, stars Russell Brand as the drunken yet still loveable and childlike Arthur Bach. Staying true to the original Arthur is the sole heir to the Bach fortune – a status which is in jeopardy if he doesn’t go through with the marriage his family has arranged for him. Arthur, despite his playboy ways, just wants to marry someone he loves.

Jennifer Garner stars as Susan Johnson, the woman Arthur is engaged to and must marry in order to keep his 950 billion dollar fortune. While most men would have no objection to any kind of interaction with Jennifer Garner, Arthur is not impressed and not the least bit interested in her. She is also slightly…how shall I put this...She’s an evil bitch. OOOOH! I can say that if I want to! That’s right folks no censorship here!! Anyway, I digress.

Arthur then meets his love interest Naomi Quinn played by Greta Gerwig, who is just adorable! Arthur and she have an instant connection. From there Arthur courts her while trying to figure out what to do about his upcoming nuptials. I must say there are hilarious scenes – completely typical of this type comedy - of Arthur hiding 1 girl while the other is present.

The movie was hilarious and I personally was in stitches throughout. Having last watched the original back in the 80’s when I was still in single digits in age, I had to take a second look recently. I thought this stayed pretty true to the original. Also, watching the original it becomes apparent that Russell Brand is the obvious choice. Arthur’s character is quite similar – to put it nicely- to other roles he has played. I must say I was not disappointed in Brand’s performance at all.

While the film stays true to the original in many ways including many of the original jokes. There are exceptions such as Hobson, originally played by the hilarious Sir Arthur John Gielgud, being played by Helen Mirren. Mirren did a really good job in the role but I have to say Gielgud’s performance was much better. The character of Hobson (Arthur’s longtime nanny/caregiver) is proper but has a smart mouth. Gielgud brought that Hobson trait out much better, but Mirren played the role slightly kinder than Gielgud. She was still a smart ass but more proper and of course feminine.

The movie comes out Friday 4/8 and is a good movie to go see on a date or if you just wanna go laugh with some friends. Arthur would probably have a few drinks before he got there though.

Lupe Fiasco – Lasers

(Release Date March 8, 2011)

Lupe Fiasco starts out his album with his politically controversial messages that even if you don’t agree with they still makes you think. His political and socio-economically conscious message is very present throughout the album in a style reminiscent of Mos Def albums. “Words I Never Said” features Skylar Grey on the haunting hook while Lupe’s verses call out politicians on the left and right with bold Lyrics like “Limbaugh is a racist Glenn Beck is a racist Gaza strip was getting bombed Obama didn’t say shit” . Like I said you might not agree but the wheels are turning aren’t they?

Lupe examines socio economic differences in “State Run Radio”. First off this caught me off guard since guest singer Matt Mahaffey used to perform all around Murfreesboro, TN . For anyone who was familiar with Mahaffey’s band self the musical sound of this song is unmistakably him. I hadn’t heard much from or about him in recent years. It was a good surprise that he popped up on this album

The album has some feel good dance songs on it too such as “Coming up” – one of 3 songs to feature MDMA. This is is the pop feel good love song to your baby track. Not to be mistaken for his collab with Trey Songz “Out of My Head”. The music in this one is a little 80’s sounding but it works for the song. And of course Trey’s vocals are on point as always.

You can hear Lupe’s non rap/ R&B influences in a number of the tracks. “The Show Goes On” features the lead guitar riff and the verses share a melody with Modest Mouse’s 2004 hit “Float On”. It gives the song a fun everything’s gonna be ok kinda feel. Then there’s “Break the Chain” which features Eric Turner and Sway. Let me just say I tried googling this Eric Turner and I found football players, other musicians, lil kids on the honor roll but nothing about this particular Eric Turner. Let that be a lesson to you, Parents. Stop naming your kids Eric Turner or they wont be able to google themselves and find anything. Anyway, I digress. Eric Turner’s voice coupled with the music gives the song reminiscent of Erasure. However, the music is more techno trance style than 80’s. Guest rapper Sway swoops in with his bouncy rhythmic verse in the middle and Lupe finishes it out.

Overall this album is a really good listen. Lupe has a good style that he knows how to diversify in different tracks and for different messages. He has some interesting things to say and is good at letting you have fun on the album as well. I definitely recommend getting this album.