This has been a question that has been asked by people from age 16 to 60. After going through one failed relationship after another, many are left wondering just where this “right” person is and if there is such a thing. We have all been through negative experiences in relationships. From lies being told, deceit, cheating, and the like, all, in most cases, lead to the end of that relationship. And I say in most cases, because for some, and you know I’m telling the truth, they’ll stay in the relationship even after the fact. And THAT is a totally different topic. But for those of us that have some sense of self worth and awareness would cut that relationship short with the quickness. But the underlying affects of consistent failed relationships lead to so many other things, insecurity, skepticism, suspicion, fear, and even bitterness. All of which just complicates the possibility of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right all the more. So just how does one find the “right” one in a society of lies, deceit and facebook?
Tyler Perry’s movie, “Why Did I Get Married” coined the new phrase, “The 80/20 Rule” that basically states that often, people will leave someone who has 80% of what they want and look for to chase after a person who has the 20% that the one they’re with doesn’t have. With that being a rather factual statement makes one wonder, well if I am with someone and I possess only 80% of what my mate wants, and they desire the 20% of what I don’t have, how am I supposed to have a meaningful relationship? And what seems to happen is when that person gets that 20% and realizes that is ALL they are going to get, now two relationships are destroyed, leaving two, possibly three people broken. It’s amazing what selfish desires can do. Leave a person scarred and left to think that they are insufficient to get a mate and keep them simply because they don’t possess 100% of what someone wants. These pressures drive many to do things to try and enhance their appearance, invest in material things with the hopes that that will somehow increase their chances. Sadly, many never realize that outward appearances are never a substitute for character and personality.
The most important thing for anyone to realize is that they aren’t 80% of anything. When God made you from His very bosom, He didn’t create you with only 80% efficiency or completeness. You were perfectly made, wonderfully made, specifically made. And if you ever appear to be only 80% of anything in the eyes of another, they deny the very perfection that you are, AND themselves. This isn’t about finding the perfect person, who has everything together, never made a mistake in their life. This about people being perfect at being exactly who they are, THEMSELVES. And that alone should be enough for anyone and everyone. Society has created this image that says a person has to look this way, have these things, do this and that to be considered worthy of finding a good man or woman. The only thing you need to truly have is your Faith in Christ and the love you have in your heart for yourself. With those tools at your disposal, you’ll never subject yourself to the first one that shows you attention. You will take your time; analyze the person and situation, PRAY about it long before just jumping in. They have to love you completely, whole-heartedly for who you are.
So to answer the question, where is Mr./Mrs. Right? There is no “Mr. or Mrs. Right”. Only the one that is right for you. My closest friend once told me that just because a man and a woman are good people, doesn’t mean they are good for each other. Be patient. Slow the emotional rollercoaster when someone shows you interest, no matter how nice the initial feeling may be. Give yourself time to get to know them first. And in the meantime, continue to build and work on you. Strive to reach your goals, external and internal. Learn to love you for all of your gifts and abilities as well as your faults and short comings. Embrace the man or woman that God created you to be. It is then and only then, that you will truly be able to share your life with someone else and give them 100% of who you are and be able to receive it from them as well making you right….. for each other.
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