With all the controversy around North Carolina’s vote last week to ban gay marriage, President Obama coming out for it and the church leaders in Memphis speaking out against it I felt I needed to weigh in. First off, I must reach out to all those who oppose gay marriage. I haven’t heard a good argument for it yet, and I would like to know if someone can come up with one. I doubt it, but I would love to hear the attempts. So if you have one please share it with me and the world. First, read on so that you can see that the most common arguments could easily be refuted by a 3 year old.
1. It destroys the sanctity of marriage – plenty of straight people do that anyway with trips to vegas to get married at elvis themed chapels on drunken whims. Some of the same people preaching this are probably running around on their husbands and wives right now.
2. Religious reasons (ie the Bible told me so) - That’s all fine and good but that is your own belief. Not everyone is Christian or even religious and even some of us who are Christians do not believe in denying other humans basic rights. After all this country was founded on the principle of freedom of religion which means freedom FROM religion if you choose not to participate. Oh and what about that whole separation of church and state? What this means for those slow folks opposing this is that we don’t make laws based off your beliefs alone because that would infringe upon the rights of those who believe differently.
3. Children – This is two arguments actually 1. That the purpose of marriage is to reproduce and because we can’t do that we shouldn’t be able to get married. 2. The other is that any children in the marriage will suffer because of not having a traditional mother and father in the home and/or because of the “flawed” lifestyle of the parents.
My rebuttal to this is simple. Plenty of straight couples can’t or choose not to have kids but they are still allowed to marry. There are plenty of gay couples raising wonderful children and plenty of straight couples with what we’ll call “less than perfect kids”
4. Impact on society – that if we allow gay marriage that society will go down the drain – really? For this I have no words. If you’re ignorant enough to think that this the biggest threat to society I implore you to pick up a newspaper and read about what is going on in the world.
Generally, the people who are supporting this are conservatives. Mind you, these are generally the same people shouting less government when it comes to most issues. How hypocritical of them to want MORE government when it comes to imposing their beliefs on others. I think Mayor Corey Booker (Newark, NJ) said it best when he stated that putting the civil rights of others to a popular vote is wrong. In this case they weren’t even voting on whether to legalize it or not. They were voting that they wanted to make it that much harder for it to ever become legal there. It’s all based out of fear and ignorance. To me, that’s like if you’ve never been robbed but you’re so afraid that you’re going to get robbed that you board up all the windows and doors in your house so you can’t leave and they can’t get in. Your neighbors and friends would think you insane especially if there was no traumatic event to trigger the behavior.
The citizens of North Carolina in my opinion should pick up a history book. Look back to the days when interracial marriage was in the same place gay marriage is now. Right now the idea of saying no you can’t marry another consenting adult just because they are a different race sounds ludicrous and so will the idea of fighting gay marriage in a few decades. It’s sad that so many people who wouldn’t be affected by this in the least bit oppose it so strongly. Perhaps they should be more concerned with their own marriages and relationships.
Speaking to the church leaders who have spoken out against President Obama’s support of it I would say that while it is your right to oppose it for your personal purposes and in your private church organizations, it is not your place to speak out regarding laws that do not affect you in the least bit. You may feel it is wrong but in this day and age the church no longer “owns” marriage. It is a legal institution that many heterosexuals enter into outside of churches and without traditional clergy performing the ceremony. Since Marriage is a legal issue and we, as a country, have separation of church and state then churches should not be weighing in on the issue. If it becomes legal then there would still be no law forcing churches to allow it within their walls. Besides if this is your wedding day wouldn’t you want it to happen in a place that is special to you and/or your spouse or at least accepting and supporting of the union.
This is what anyone who opposes this should consider. We just want the same rights and benefits you have with your spouse. We want the right to see our loved ones in the hospital and be considered next of kin without having expensive legal documents drawn up. (A Note to those who don’t know, these type rights are a given in a legal marriage.) We want to express our love and commitment to each other in the same way that you get to and take for granted. Ask yourselves if your gay neighbors and friends are allowed to get married how will this affect your own marriage? Will you and your spouse love each other any less? Will the world implode from all the evil we have allowed?! No the only thing that will result from allowing us this right is that gay people will get married to each other. None of us have any desire to force your church that doesn’t agree with it to marry us. Like you, if we marry in a church it would need to be one that has meaning to us. Know that we would not take it for granted or cheapen it because we have fought so hard to achieve the right.
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