Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Freedom and Family
I want to acknowledge Memorial Day, giving honor to all who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country and also to the families whom they left behind.
One of the freedoms that I cherish the most is the freedom to choose family. We all have our biological family. Your relationship with that family may be wonderful, rocky or just ordinary. It is what it is -as the saying goes. We have some control over aspects of our relationship with our biological family and there are things we cannot control. Again, it is what it is...
In addition to the family you were given, if you are lucky you have an additional family - one which you have chosen. I firmly believe that you are reflected in the people with whom you surround yourself. Chosen family can be children, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunties, dear friends and, of course, partners......
I am lucky. My given family has, like all families, their own good parts and not so good parts. Normally crazy. I have children whom I adore and who continually fill my heart with pride. A grandson that, I am quite certain, hung the moon. A partner who is wonderful. I love them madly and cherish my relationship with them more than any tangible possession imaginable.
My chosen family amazes me daily with their love, support, generosity - in every aspect of the word and always the way that matters the most at the moment. I am honored that each of them has also chosen me. I can't imagine life without either of my families.
So today and every day I am grateful for the men and women who are willing to risk their lives to continue to ensure me the freedom to choose my family. I continue to pray that truly equal freedom will be given to all - but that is another subject. I send love, deepest sympathy and healing vibes to the families of those who do not return from their call to duty.
And, I challenge you to first, thank or at least say a prayer for a soldier and their family; and secondly, take stock of your chosen family - what they say about you, what they bring to your life and what you bring to their lives. And tell them daily that you love them - even if only through thoughts released into the universe.
Namaste~
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship." - Oscar Wilde
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu
Friday, May 27, 2011
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"Men are such simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.." - Diana Jordan
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Hangover 2
Enough about that let's get to the good part. Holy shite! This movie was HI-larious just like the first one. The movie was just as if not funnier than the first one. There were some predictable situations and jokes, but they are funny enough that you will still laugh your ass off. Everyone is back and of course there are some new characters to add to the mix. Ken Jeong is crazy funny returning in his flamboyant role of Mr Chow, a role which really broke his career wide open. Of course Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms are hilarious as always.
I think everyone will agree the best new character is the drug dealing, smoking monkey. Who doesn't want him as a pet? Go see this movie. Don't let this terribly written review discourage you. The movie rocks!
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Real Talk Quote of The Day
Character - the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life - is the source from which self respect springs. - Joan Didion
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The Male Perspective: Where is Mr./Mrs. Right?!?
This has been a question that has been asked by people from age 16 to 60. After going through one failed relationship after another, many are left wondering just where this “right” person is and if there is such a thing. We have all been through negative experiences in relationships. From lies being told, deceit, cheating, and the like, all, in most cases, lead to the end of that relationship. And I say in most cases, because for some, and you know I’m telling the truth, they’ll stay in the relationship even after the fact. And THAT is a totally different topic. But for those of us that have some sense of self worth and awareness would cut that relationship short with the quickness. But the underlying affects of consistent failed relationships lead to so many other things, insecurity, skepticism, suspicion, fear, and even bitterness. All of which just complicates the possibility of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right all the more. So just how does one find the “right” one in a society of lies, deceit and facebook?
Tyler Perry’s movie, “Why Did I Get Married” coined the new phrase, “The 80/20 Rule” that basically states that often, people will leave someone who has 80% of what they want and look for to chase after a person who has the 20% that the one they’re with doesn’t have. With that being a rather factual statement makes one wonder, well if I am with someone and I possess only 80% of what my mate wants, and they desire the 20% of what I don’t have, how am I supposed to have a meaningful relationship? And what seems to happen is when that person gets that 20% and realizes that is ALL they are going to get, now two relationships are destroyed, leaving two, possibly three people broken. It’s amazing what selfish desires can do. Leave a person scarred and left to think that they are insufficient to get a mate and keep them simply because they don’t possess 100% of what someone wants. These pressures drive many to do things to try and enhance their appearance, invest in material things with the hopes that that will somehow increase their chances. Sadly, many never realize that outward appearances are never a substitute for character and personality.
The most important thing for anyone to realize is that they aren’t 80% of anything. When God made you from His very bosom, He didn’t create you with only 80% efficiency or completeness. You were perfectly made, wonderfully made, specifically made. And if you ever appear to be only 80% of anything in the eyes of another, they deny the very perfection that you are, AND themselves. This isn’t about finding the perfect person, who has everything together, never made a mistake in their life. This about people being perfect at being exactly who they are, THEMSELVES. And that alone should be enough for anyone and everyone. Society has created this image that says a person has to look this way, have these things, do this and that to be considered worthy of finding a good man or woman. The only thing you need to truly have is your Faith in Christ and the love you have in your heart for yourself. With those tools at your disposal, you’ll never subject yourself to the first one that shows you attention. You will take your time; analyze the person and situation, PRAY about it long before just jumping in. They have to love you completely, whole-heartedly for who you are.
So to answer the question, where is Mr./Mrs. Right? There is no “Mr. or Mrs. Right”. Only the one that is right for you. My closest friend once told me that just because a man and a woman are good people, doesn’t mean they are good for each other. Be patient. Slow the emotional rollercoaster when someone shows you interest, no matter how nice the initial feeling may be. Give yourself time to get to know them first. And in the meantime, continue to build and work on you. Strive to reach your goals, external and internal. Learn to love you for all of your gifts and abilities as well as your faults and short comings. Embrace the man or woman that God created you to be. It is then and only then, that you will truly be able to share your life with someone else and give them 100% of who you are and be able to receive it from them as well making you right….. for each other.
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." - Oprah Winfrey
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Suffering In Silence
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had more than one conversation with friends about the number of people we see in abusive relationships. The amount of women and some men that allow themselves to take this treatment from their "so called" loved ones is worrisome. With the amount of literature, support systems and overall awareness out there about abusive relationships there is no reason for people to be caught up in these situations. Why do they continue to put themselves through this abuse? This is the question that I have been asking myself over and over again for over a week now. I have come to the conclusion that it is one of two things. The first reason of course is that they "love" the person that is hurting them. The second is that many of these people do not see themselves as being "abused". Physical abuse is something that is not tolerated nearly as much as verbal abuse. Therefore, if someone is not being physically abused then they do not recognize it as abuse.
What I am not going to do in this post is say that the people that stay in these relationships are weak or lack self respect because that is not the case at all in many of these cases. However, one thing that is present in these relationships is fear. Fear alone is something that is paralyzing and causes us to not act even when we know better. They fear being alone. They fear starting over. They fear what other people may say. They fear so much that they fail to realize what they may actually be able to gain in return for letting go of that fear. What I will say is that the people that are dishing out this abuse to the people they claim to "love" are poor excuses for human beings. I do not care if it is a man or a woman, if you need to control something or someone, then I will recommend looking in the mirror. Either that or you need to go get a dog or some other type of animal to control on your verbal command. You are insecure. You are lacking self love and need to get some professional help before you self destruct. At the end of the day, you will end up alone because no one can take that treatment forever. So please do not say that no one ever told you, cause I just did.
If you are in a relationship with someone that is attempting to control you then you need to put a stop to it today. Tomorrow never comes if that is what you are waiting for so today put an end to the abuse. I am not saying leave, but I am saying stop being an enabler. No one can control another person without their consent. When reading Dr. Phil McGraw's advice on dealing with controlling people, he pointed out a couple of key things that I will reiterate here: 1) You need to ask yourself what it is costing you to be in this relationship? If the answer includes, your dreams, identity, or dignity, then the cost is too high, 2) Start taking responsibility for your actions. How is your behavior enabling your partner? By not dealing with a controlling partner's behavior, you're only enabling it to continue, and 3) Suffering in silence IS NOT LOVE!
Lastly, it goes without saying if you attempt to work things out and cannot get through to the person that is abusive to you then you will need to start working on your exit strategy. The one thing I know is that you will be amazed at the hands that will come out of nowhere to help you start fresh and become your support system. The person that is being abused is never alone but feel they are as a result of the abuse. This is because controlling people are emotional extortionist.
What I am not going to do in this post is say that the people that stay in these relationships are weak or lack self respect because that is not the case at all in many of these cases. However, one thing that is present in these relationships is fear. Fear alone is something that is paralyzing and causes us to not act even when we know better. They fear being alone. They fear starting over. They fear what other people may say. They fear so much that they fail to realize what they may actually be able to gain in return for letting go of that fear. What I will say is that the people that are dishing out this abuse to the people they claim to "love" are poor excuses for human beings. I do not care if it is a man or a woman, if you need to control something or someone, then I will recommend looking in the mirror. Either that or you need to go get a dog or some other type of animal to control on your verbal command. You are insecure. You are lacking self love and need to get some professional help before you self destruct. At the end of the day, you will end up alone because no one can take that treatment forever. So please do not say that no one ever told you, cause I just did.
If you are in a relationship with someone that is attempting to control you then you need to put a stop to it today. Tomorrow never comes if that is what you are waiting for so today put an end to the abuse. I am not saying leave, but I am saying stop being an enabler. No one can control another person without their consent. When reading Dr. Phil McGraw's advice on dealing with controlling people, he pointed out a couple of key things that I will reiterate here: 1) You need to ask yourself what it is costing you to be in this relationship? If the answer includes, your dreams, identity, or dignity, then the cost is too high, 2) Start taking responsibility for your actions. How is your behavior enabling your partner? By not dealing with a controlling partner's behavior, you're only enabling it to continue, and 3) Suffering in silence IS NOT LOVE!
Lastly, it goes without saying if you attempt to work things out and cannot get through to the person that is abusive to you then you will need to start working on your exit strategy. The one thing I know is that you will be amazed at the hands that will come out of nowhere to help you start fresh and become your support system. The person that is being abused is never alone but feel they are as a result of the abuse. This is because controlling people are emotional extortionist.
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix
Monday, May 23, 2011
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"Girls fall in love by what they hear; Guys fall in love by what they see. That's why, some girls put on makeup and some guys lie." - via @TheLoveStories on Twitter
Who You Pimpin' ?
I find it kinda funny and a little ridiculous when men and even some of my lesbian friends talk about "running the show" when it comes to dating. I won't deny that often relationships have a more dominant party, but it seems many people who would tell you that they are or that you should be "running the show" are full of crap. It seems to be more a way of control and manipulation.
In some instances those people have found a partner that is just dumb or otherwise wounded enough to let them run the show. The dominant partner can literally tell you that the sky is purple and not only will you agree, but you will then turn around and tell all your friends "my baby said the sky is purple and you guys are all wrong". Obviously the lies are generally more relationship related but you get the point.
Once I was on my way to meet up with a person of interest and I was leaving one party to go to another and a friend asked me "why can't you just tell her to come here? Ain't you running the show here?". Honestly I wanted to ask first do you know me at all? Second, you don't know her or anything about her so get out our business and butt out of it.
I consider myself to be an intelligent feeling person and while admittedly at times I need to be more aggressive I don't feel like I need to "run" anyone. I want someone with a mind of her own that works well enough to call me on my ish when I'm wrong and someone who gets it when the reverse happens. Relationships, for me anyway, have to be a partnership not a dictatorship.
I'm probably going to step on some toes with this but I feel like if you need a partner you can rule and manipulate it shows a weakness within you.
It shows you can't own your mess so you have to get someone you can con into believing your mess doesn't exist.
We are all human and no one is perfect. We all have mess. We all have things we wish could change about ourselves. We all make mistakes. A bigger person knows he has to own those mistakes and do what is in their power to fix it when they happen.
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Sunday, May 22, 2011
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." -Mark Twain
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Don't Say Gay??? Seriously?!
Ok I was going to blog about something else but given that this shit passed by so much I feel the need to vent. First off let me say to the homophobes who think this will keep your kids from being gay, you are wrong. What you have done, instead, is tied the hands of what could have been a trusted adult for them to confide in. What this means is higher teen suicide rates, more teen depression, and don't forget our favorites, "the bullies" are winning like Charlie Sheen now. In a time where schools and other youth oriented organizations are dealing with an epidemic of bullying and the fallout from that - these 19 closed minded individuals have made a ridiculous decision that sets us back so far from the little progress we have made.
While other states like Iowa and Vermont are legalizing our right to marry one another we have striped or health teachers and guidance counselors of their right and duty to educate and council your kids. Funny that they can still teach your kids about all the drugs out there, but don't say gay. It's as though they think telling them about it will make them say "ooooo I wanna be gay when I grow up". People don't choose to be gay, just like no one says I think I'm going to be black or female or what not.
Imagine your child is 12 -13 years old and all their friends start noticing the opposite sex, and they are confused because they are not. Maybe they start thinking "what is wrong with me?". Who will they go to?
I remember when I was in high school at the tender age of 15 and started to realize what I was gay. I started to seek out other gays in the media. I'm dating myself, but this is before we could just get online and look up stuff so all I found were talk shows where they glorified these crazy examples of gay people. These people were not the gays next door who go to work and do their thing like anyone else. These were the stereotypical gays that were just out there in crazy town and just happen to be gay. Their insanity is what got them on the show as a representative of the gay community. These are the people your mom had in mind when she cried when you came out to her because she imagines this terrible life for you. They are the equivalent to the media getting the most ignorant people from any demographic and putting them on tv. It was not the resource I needed. As for right now when the internet is a viable resource for information, is googling gay really the best idea for your school aged child? They may get lucky and find a helpful resource, but I'm sure we can all think of all the nasty stuff they could find instead of having a trusted adult to talk to them responsibly about the subject. This being a personal subject for me I wanted to practice what I preach and include some links for organizations that could help people on either side of this situation.
http://community.pflag.org/
http://tnep.org/
http://www.pridenet.com/tn_support.html
http://www.thetaskforce.org/activist_center/act_locally/tennessee
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Thursday, May 19, 2011
“What is wrong with me?”
What is wrong with me, Am I not deserving of true love? Did I do something in my past life that I am paying for? Is it that I am to heavy? Are my teeth an issue? It seems like I’m good enough to be a shoulder to cry on, but during times in my life I’m in pain, I just end up with a tissue. Sometimes I feel like I am being left behind while everyone else is shining. I want desperately to be loved unconditionally but all that I’m ever faced with is conditions. What is so wrong with me, I have the heart of a giant overflowing with compassion. My heart is made of gold but it’s still worthless. How many times am I going to be looked over? What is wrong with me? Is it because I am not good at playing games, not willing to compromise my character and integrity? Is it because I don’t feel like weave and fine clothes define me? What is wrong with me? Is it that I lack earning potential and my resume is basic, or is it when you google me there are no traces, what is wrong with me? Is it because I am a single mother with two children struggling to survive, or is it because I don’t have a big name and no one knows that I’m alive? Is it because I care too much and have expectations of how things are suppose to be and refuse to settle? What is wrong with me? Is it because I’d rather be viewed as humble? Is it because there have been so many things in my life that have caused me to stumble? What is wrong with me? Is it that I am doomed to be alone and need to stop listening to love songs? Is it because I’ve been torn down to my lowest having the hardest time trying to focus, what is wrong with me?
There is nothing wrong with me. It’s just not my time. I have to be patient and waiting for what’s mine. I am beautiful inside out and a real man will recognize and know exactly what I’m about. There is nothing wrong with me. Just because I have been used and abused doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with me. So what I have two children and barely making ends meet, there is nothing wrong with me. So what I carry a little extra weight and my teeth are not straight, there is nothing wrong with me. God is preparing me for my wonderful gift and I just have to believe. I am a child of the King and he only wants what’s best for me, there is nothing wrong with me. God is perfecting me, preparing me for one of his son’s that he has just for me, he doesn’t want me to settle for feeling empty…There is nothing wrong with me.
All of those innocuous things that I have mentioned are nothing more or nothing less than giving the devil to much attention and the other thoughts he plants are not even worth the mention. God is not going to have me wasting anymore of my time on frivolous deeds because there is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with anyone of us who feels or has felt like this before.
We as ladies have to learn how to wait on the Lord and take him at his word. God says that all of us are wonderfully and perfectly made in his image. He doesn’t want us to settle for being partially loved but loved fully as he describes in his word. Don’t rush it, if it’s meant to be it will happen but first and foremost know and understand that there is nothing wrong with you, that you already have an unconditional love and it is in him. Its’ okay to FEEL alone but it’s best to KNOW that you are not!!! He is here with you and so am I. Be Blessed…
Picture of The Day - Maria Shriver
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Robert Muller
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Trust Issues
I've learned and grown from those experiences but in doing so there is also a kind of loss of innocence. Obviously when speaking of relationships most people want to find their "one" and often when you think you have met someone with potential to be that we give them the benefit of the doubt a little more than we should. Too many times I've done this to where now sometimes I think hmmm so and so is being shady, maybe they are lying or have this ulterior motive for telling me to do this or that. Later on even if they don't realize how you took whatever it was they said or did the wrong way you still feel a little dumb for automatically thinking the worst of them. I've done this and not only did they not have bad intentions they had the best intentions and I missed out because of my suspicions.
Ladies I think the lesson here is still guard your heart but don't build an impenetrable mote around it. You have to trust some people. Of course you are going to get hurt sometimes but heartbreak is part of life and it makes us appreciate more when we meet friends, lovers, etc who are actually good to us and for us.
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief." - Gerry Spence
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Voice Is The Real Deal
I am not American Idol bashing by no means, because it has produced some awesome talent. However, anyone that has ever seen American Idol, knows that how a contestant looks plays a big role in how far they will go in the competition. It isn't a true talent competition. Your singing ability may get you there but unfortunately it is not enough to keep you there. The Voice is totally opposite of that because of the fact that it is not just a competition between the contestants but also between the celebrity coaches. That additional element alone has made the show more interesting.
NBC has hit a homerun with this one for sure in my opinion. The thing that made me fall in love with this show happened just last week in the second round of the competition. Placing two people that are competing against each other on a stage, singing the same song at the same time was pure genius. This additional element is why I cannot wait until tonight's episode. If you have not watched this program, then I will recommend going to NBC's website and watching the previous episodes. After you do that, come and jump on the bandwagon with me!
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"Hard work without talent is a shame, but talent without hard work is a tragedy." - Robert Half
Monday, May 16, 2011
Do Unto Others, But Don’t Forget Yourself
As real women, we tend to give 110% of ourselves in everything that we attempt. If you add a demanding career, husband/significant other, throw a few kids into the mix, and after sometime we end up either with significant burnout, ready to go postal or so far from our true selves that we don't even know our own names. Once you get to this point, with no intervention, the outcome is negative for everyone involved. Productivity levels drop at the job and at home. You're yelling at you kids for offenses that, under normal circumstances, would only warrant a response of "honey, stop that" (in your best "Nice Mom" voice).I'm writing this post from personal experience. The light bulb came on for me after coming across an old picture while battling through my nightly duties at home. This picture was taken in 2003 at a restaurant while hanging out with my girls. At this time, I was only three years into my marriage, no kids, and totally doing me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life as it stands today, but realize that I've given so much of myself to the other people in my life, and haven't taken enough time for me.
I want to challenge you ladies to find the "old picture" in your life that represents a time when you didn't have a care in the world, and then figure out what you can do to get back to that point. I'm not asking you to quit your jobs, put your kids up for adoption, and leave your husbands, but rather, this is a call to action to stop moving through life simply going through the motions. We give so much of ourselves to others, so be sure to take time for you doing whatever makes you happey. I'm no doctor, but I think in the end it will make us better Real Women. Peace.
Real Talk Quote of The Day
“Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.” – Gerard Way
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I Guess It Comes Down To A Simple Choice
We are only on this earth for a short period of time and the fact that more people are losing hours off their lives by watching programs that follow people around that are actually living their own is crazy. I am not speaking about everyone because you do still have some people that stay active and do not watch alot of television but those numbers are dwindling. At what point do we just stop living life? Is it when we start working? Is it when you start having a family of your own? I am not sure but I know I am trying to reverse that trend for myself. I am finished with sitting around watching television all the time. I am finished with allowing the rat race to stress me out. It has taken too long for me to realize that all I needed to know about living my life I learned from The Shawshank Redemption. When Andy was speaking to Red and told him that "I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really: get busy living or get busy dying" it was enough for me. Unfortunately, I didn't listen that well back in 1994.
I get it now. So with that I vow not to allow the world to influence me to the point that I neglect the real people that are in my life. I will not cancel time with friends and love ones just so I can play a game, watch a Lifetime movie, or anything else that does not involve human interaction. Living life without human interaction is not living. My new top priority is living life and enjoying the people in it. Sorry to tell everyone that Snooki doesn't care if you are living your life or not. She is and she is being well compensated for it. My point is that we are making the wrong things a priority in our lives. We need to stop it and start living today, otherwise prepare for dying because sitting on the couch and doing nothing is definitely not living.
Real Talk Quote of The Day
" I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really: get busy living or get busy dying." - Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) in The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Should Adults Skate?
So I'm sitting here at this skating rink and as you would expect on a Saturday afternoon there are tons of kids running around skating, falling, crawling around like moving speed bumps for anyone taller than 4 feet.
As an adult with limited or no control on skates this could present a bit of a challenge. Imagine you are on skates for the first time in five - ten years starting to get the hang of it and BAM little Jeffrey falls right in front of you. Of course you don't have the control to stop, change direction, or Heaven forbid jump over the kid, clear all major body parts, AND land on your feet. The obvious choice is that you end up down there with him, but that fall on your thirty something body is not handled nearly as well as those 7 year olds.
This was similar to my experience last Feb. when on a Saturday much like this one; I went skating at my friend's birthday party. I swear my first time setting foot/skate on the rink in what was probably 10 years was during the race. So not only do I have to relearn balance like Mr. Myagi has me balancing on a stump practicing my crane kick in the wind, but I also have to not be the lady person coming around the corners. Oh God, the corners! Those are the worst! What do I do with my skates? How do I maintain speed or slow down as needed? Eventually I get the hang of it and can get around decently. That was NOT during that race btw.
I know a lot of adults are afraid of skating. More specifically they are afraid of getting hurt. I was asked if my insurance was up to date today when I mentioned going skating. I also had one of my supervisors once tell me that people over like 24 should not skate. She cited one of our co-workers breaking her ankle trying to skate as one of her reasons.
I have to disagree with them on this. You could get hurt anytime doing anything. If you really want to try skating you might try an adult skate night. If you think that you can't skate because you are too old, those nights will really show that you are only as old as you feel. The cool thief about these nights is there are groups as small as 2 people and as large as 10+ doing skate routines as they round the rink. It's fun to watch them and the older couples I've seen doing what can only be described as ballroom skating. Some of these people have incredible strength in parts I've forgotten I even have!
Another cool thing about these nights and perhaps the main reason I recommend it for us novices who aren't used to skating anymore is that the adults don't fall all around you repeatedly. They also know how to look out for the other guys even if it's just to keep from falling themselves.
I personally always have a good time on the occasions I have gone skating as an adult in the last year or so, so of course I'd recommend it to almost anyone else.
As an adult with limited or no control on skates this could present a bit of a challenge. Imagine you are on skates for the first time in five - ten years starting to get the hang of it and BAM little Jeffrey falls right in front of you. Of course you don't have the control to stop, change direction, or Heaven forbid jump over the kid, clear all major body parts, AND land on your feet. The obvious choice is that you end up down there with him, but that fall on your thirty something body is not handled nearly as well as those 7 year olds.
This was similar to my experience last Feb. when on a Saturday much like this one; I went skating at my friend's birthday party. I swear my first time setting foot/skate on the rink in what was probably 10 years was during the race. So not only do I have to relearn balance like Mr. Myagi has me balancing on a stump practicing my crane kick in the wind, but I also have to not be the lady person coming around the corners. Oh God, the corners! Those are the worst! What do I do with my skates? How do I maintain speed or slow down as needed? Eventually I get the hang of it and can get around decently. That was NOT during that race btw.
I know a lot of adults are afraid of skating. More specifically they are afraid of getting hurt. I was asked if my insurance was up to date today when I mentioned going skating. I also had one of my supervisors once tell me that people over like 24 should not skate. She cited one of our co-workers breaking her ankle trying to skate as one of her reasons.
I have to disagree with them on this. You could get hurt anytime doing anything. If you really want to try skating you might try an adult skate night. If you think that you can't skate because you are too old, those nights will really show that you are only as old as you feel. The cool thief about these nights is there are groups as small as 2 people and as large as 10+ doing skate routines as they round the rink. It's fun to watch them and the older couples I've seen doing what can only be described as ballroom skating. Some of these people have incredible strength in parts I've forgotten I even have!
Another cool thing about these nights and perhaps the main reason I recommend it for us novices who aren't used to skating anymore is that the adults don't fall all around you repeatedly. They also know how to look out for the other guys even if it's just to keep from falling themselves.
I personally always have a good time on the occasions I have gone skating as an adult in the last year or so, so of course I'd recommend it to almost anyone else.
Real Talk Quote of The Day
“And I got the haters like when will he stop? Maybe a minute after never, so set your clocks.” - Lil Wayne
Friday, May 13, 2011
What's Up Doc? Stay Healthy Tip
If your child has an unusual accident, like bicycling head on into a parked car. Don't assume it is just childhood antics. Ask if they were dizzy, had a headache, or blurred vision prior to the accident, then respond appropriately. Have a Healthy Day!
Real Talk Quote of The Day
The wise look ahead to see what is coming, but fools deceive themselves - Proverbs 14:8
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Cheaters = Liars = Losers
This post may step on some toes but I am at the point of not caring. If you are a person that cheats on another person you are a LOSER! Wake up people, it is 2011 and adults should not be cheating on each other and yet it happens everyday for no “real” reason. There are no valid reasons to cheat, especially today. In a world of open relationships and swinging lifestyles the old reasons for cheating like “sex” are not valid anymore. At the end of the day, the people that are lying and cheating to their significant others are doing so because they are selfish. There is no other way to explain it. These people want to have their cake and eat it too.
In order to cheat successfully, a person will need to tell several lies in order to keep up the first lie. If someone is constantly lying then they cannot be trusted. If they cannot be trusted then they do not need to be in a relationship in the first place. Yet, these people are constantly working their way into other people’s lives and causing heartache. This is because they are LOSERS. The thing that confuses me more than anything is the people that stay in relationships with these people. Think about this for just a moment. No one is born lying. Lying is a characteristic of a cheater. Not everyone that lies cheats, but everyone that cheats does lie. I have always been taught that if someone lies then they will steal. Cheaters will steal a person’s dignity, integrity, self esteem and other key building blocks to the human spirit. They break them down emotionally to the point of it showing up in their physical appearance.
Cheaters are LOSERS for one simple fact and that is because they do it by choice. Anytime a person chooses to hurt someone for their own self interest, then they are one of the lowest forms of life on earth. Both I and many of my friends have been cheated on in the past. This was when I was younger and a lot dumber. The numbers of lies that have been uncovered from past relationships with those LOSERS are crazy. It was not even necessary. If those people that decided to be dishonest and cheat would have just been honest then at least they would have some respect. It is better to be honest and have respect vs. being a LOSER with no respect. It never ceases to amaze me how people that cheat always act as if they really care about the person they are hurting. The do “care” but they do not “care” about the person. What they “care” about is what the person provides them. It may be a home, car, money, or financial security. However, let’s not be fooled into thinking that they actually “care”. Do not ever forget that CHEATERS = LIARS = LOSERS!
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife." - Ann Landers
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Expectations
Expectations are part of life. We expect things from ourselves, from our jobs, from our partners and others expect things out of us. Our jobs, kids, friends, and partners all have expectations for us. These expectations can be anything from just showing up when you say you will or are supposed to be there to who’s paying for dinner on up to some biggies like staying faithful and providing for the family financially or otherwise. These are normal parts of life often set by our upbringing or even topics previously discussed and agreed upon by both parties.
However, sometimes expectations are only set by our minds and hearts and are based upon what we would like to see happen or what we would do for the other party involved. This is where expectations get sort of dangerous. For example, just because you take someone out on a nice date, pay for dinner and all that does not mean they are to “give it up” at the end of the evening. Just because you show up on time and do what you do and you think you’re smarter or somehow better than this person or that does not mean you automatically get promoted.
Often times as humans we have to get a grasp on what we are expecting from someone or something and look into why we are really expecting certain things. This type of soul searching can be difficult because sometimes it’s a wake- up call to the fact that you have been living in a dream world and you need to step back to reality. Sometimes it’s just a matter of saying ok it’s not a definite no way but you just have to do your part and see what happens.
As a Christian, I believe that God has a plan. We know God does not always solve problems on our time. Sometimes we have to wait right up until the deadline for the solution to be revealed. A true believer will know that it will be solved and has faith in God throughout the process no matter how great the suffering. That’s not to say that we believe we’ll always get exactly what we want because “our Daddy will get it for us” but that we know God is going to make sure the situation is resolved somehow.
The point of this is to help us set our expectations for our own expectations. Sometimes you need to let it go and sometimes you need to just turn it over to God and wait faithfully for the outcome.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read." - Mark Twain
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!!
Tonight I spent the evening with my 2nd mother and most of her other children. To understand my friend you should know that she is with every fiber of her being a mother. This is just the dynamic that she usually takes on with most of her friends. The cool thing about a “mom” like this is of course you get to choose each other. You got to meet this person and say “ok is this person worth letting into my life? Do they care about me? Would they be there in hard times if I needed them?” . If the answer to any of these questions was no well then you know how to classify that relationship. Now a lot of us (myself definitely included) are very blessed to have the mothers that God gave us, but others are just not as lucky.
From many sources I keep hearing these horror stories about people who maybe should have thought twice about bringing kids into the world. The world is a better place with kids in it. It’s just sad when you hear stories about parents who just could not do it. I won’t judge these women because everyone’s situation is different. I will simply say that some parents sadly just do not deserve the kids they bring into the world. I say this not to bring everyone down but to make those of us with good parents or even just good moms really appreciate who and what you have in that person.
I thank God every day that he gave me the mother that he did. She is a beautiful intelligent woman who taught me and continues to teach me so much. She taught me to be proud but never look down on others. To strive for greatness but never forget where you come from. It is because of her love and nurturing that not only was I extremely blessed but that I realize and truly appreciate what all she has done for me.
I really wish we all could experience a true mother’s love. It makes the world seem like a nicer place when you know you can go home to your mom and know she’s going to take good care of you. Today and every single day and night I want to give a shout out to all the moms out there. I know you are truly appreciated and needed and I hope you know that too.
Picture of The Day
“The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” - William Ross Wallace
Real Talk Quote of The Day
“When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman that helped me give birth to myself.” – Nancy Friday
Saturday, May 7, 2011
"Momma’s Baby Daddy’s Maybe"
Ladies I know we see it all the time on the Maury Povich show, where women come on there claiming that a man is the father of their child and it ends up not being so. There are some women that have even gone on the show 4 and 5 times only to find out that neither of those men are the father either. What does that say about us as women? Have we allowed ourselves to become so numbed by this oversexed society that we’ve allowed ourselves to falter into such promiscuous behaviors? Not only is this indicative to our oversexed society but it also exemplifies a lack of self love. Would it be safe to say that woman are no longer placing a value on what was once sacred and considered to be a gift for our only our husbands to receive. Notice that I am saying we and us because until we all collectively return back to our morals displaying self respect and dignity we are all going to suffer. We are all having to pay for this as evident by the difficulty women are having finding a husband. Men no longer feel the need to get married because we as women give them everything they need without the commitment.
I hear so many women now justify such actions by saying “men do it all the time why can’t we?” It goes back to what I have written about before, women need to fully understand and embrace their role in order to be successful at gaining the lives they truly desire. No man wants a woman that everyone has had. Men don’t want to commit because they no longer have the trust and faith in knowing that a woman will carry herself in the decent manner that she should.
There have been so many recent incidents with a woman having a loving devoted husband and she has chosen to step outside her union only to end up becoming impregnated by her secret lover. In a situation such as this, who ends up being hurt? Everyone, the woman, because 9 out of the 10 times she was only a good time to the man she chose to have an affair with, the husband who often times has taken care of the child for years only to discover that he is not the father, and the child who never asked to come into this world who ends up finding out the man he/she though was his/her father is not and his or her mother is now considered to be a whore.
Ladies it’s time to get back to the basics. It’s time to love ourselves enough not to even allow ourselves to be considered anything less than a lady. It’s time to start becoming the virtuous women God has called us to be. It’s not too late. It is unacceptable to have a child and have no idea who the father is. It is unacceptable to have frivolous sex. It is unacceptable to not require and or demand love and respect as being the prerequisite before even considering lying down with a man. It is up to use to have more self control and self love then what we have been displaying. It’s not okay to have sex with random men. It is not okay to simply have sex with a man just because you feel like you need and want it. In the long run it’s best to have contained yourselves and saved yourself for your husband. Have something precious to give him. Rare jewels are worth so much because they are limited and not every one has or has had access. Be Blessed!!!!
Real Talk Quote of The Day
"You don’t get to choose how you are going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you are going to live. Now." - Joan Baez
Friday, May 6, 2011
God vs. Science
'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'
'Yes sir,' the student says.
'So you believe in God?'
'Absolutely '
'Is God good?'
'Sure! God's good.'
'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'
'Yes'
'Are you good or evil?'
'The Bible says I'm evil.' The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible! He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'
'Yes sir, I would.'
'So you're good...!'
'I wouldn't say that.'
'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Can you answer that one?' The student remains silent. 'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. 'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'
'Er..yes,' the student says.
'Is Satan good?'
The student doesn't hesitate on this one.. 'No.'
'Then where does Satan come from?'
The student falters. 'From God'
'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'
'Yes'
'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.' Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?' The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'
'So who created them?'
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?' The student's voice betrays him and cracks.
'Yes, professor, I do.'
The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'
'No sir. I've never seen Him.'
'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'
'No, sir, I have not.'
'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'
'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'
'Yet you still believe in him?'
'Yes'
'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist... What do you say to that, son?'
'Nothing,' the student replies.. 'I only have my faith.'
'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.' The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'
' Yes.
'And is there such a thing as cold?'
'Yes, son, there's cold too.'
'No sir, there isn't.'
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit down to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy.. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.' Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer. 'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'
'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'
'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?' The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'
'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.' The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'
'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains.. You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.' 'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.' 'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'
'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'
'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'
The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. 'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.' The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter. 'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so.. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.' 'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?' Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I Guess you'll have to take them on faith.'
'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?' Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it Everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in The multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world.. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.' To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.' The professor sat down.
PS: The student was Albert Einstein.
Albert Einstein wrote a book titled 'God vs. Science' in 1921.....
What's Up Doc? Stay Healthy Tip
Today is FRIDAY! The end of the typical work week. For your mental health, leave things that have bothered you behind. Focus on having a positive and productive weekend. Surround yourself with positive people. Do NOT allow negative people to affect your mood. Over indulge yourself in JOY and HAPPINESS! Have A Mentally Healthy Day!
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