Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Cheating

Yeah I Said it. It's a hot button topic. There's lots to be said about it. Why people do it? What is considered cheating? Should the relationship end automatically if one person cheats? One could write pages and pages and pages about the subject and still never cover all aspects.

A good friend and I recently had a discussion about cheating. While she and I are going to have to agree to disagree on this one her opinion was an interesting one. Basically, it was that if you get cheated on you can often times blame it on yourself. I thought wow that's crazy! I'll admit that in some cases people you are with are not the easiest to deal with in some or many respects and thus you would be tempted to do something drastic like leave or at least go exact revenge by having a night of fun without them. In other cases the same concept could be applied to something more serious. For example, lets say at one point you and your significant other had a great relationship but now life has sort of come between you. You don't just have nice talks like before so one or both parties stray to others at first just for some good talks. Eventually feelings start to rise and next thing you know there's an attraction.

This is where the question of what is considered cheating really comes in. At this point technically these people have done nothing wrong, or have they? They have now allowed another party to fulfill things that their partner should be doing for them. In my opinion that's when it really walks the line of cheating. I would say if that's all that happened then all would be well. The problem is it all too often does not stop there and then they proceed on to physical expressions which no matter how small or "insignificant" are still cheating.
In between these two stages is where the partner often starts to notice because you're obviously getting that need filled somewhere else because you're not asking them to do it anymore. Well this is where I see her point because well you had your chance and you ignored the wish so they found someone else to take care of it. It was a need, not a want. Because of our survival instincts as humans we will always do whatever we feel it takes to fulfill a need.

There are other instances where the question of is it cheating is very very obvious. If your spouse is home taking care of the kids and you're all out at the club on some stranger well that's definitely cheating. This is an example of one I feel is disproving her point that this is why people cheat: Sometimes you are happy at home. Fulfilled at home but you just find yourself in a tempting situation. Your spouse is great and wonderful but damn this _____ is fine and I just wanna taste it one time. Ok maybe once more cause she at the club again. Ok no no this is the last time. It's like being on a diet and you know you should stick to the salad at home. It's delicous and good for you and you love having it. But this girl is Mcdonalds and sometimes I think there's crack in those fries.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's a very tough subject. A couple of years ago I found some text messages on my husband's phone to another woman. They weren't just friendly text messages they were a lot more. Although the other woman was thousands of miles away, I still felt like he had cheated on me. We are still together and I hope we worked that issue out, but there's still always the trust issue that the situation brought out. I worked midnights at that time and as far as I knew we had a great relationship... then I found the messages. What do you think?

McLovin said...

Thanks Working Wifey for reading first off. 2nd I agree that I would feel wronged. I don't think I it always has to be found in bed together for it to be considered cheating.