To my beautiful black women we are in a state of emergency! Our marriages are failing and our families are torn as evidence by 70% of black children being born in broken homes. We tend to blame the demise of the black family solely on the black man, when if we are honest with ourselves, we have been guilty of playing a role in this catastrophe also. When I look back, my parents have been married for 39 years, grandparents for 72 with similar times from several aunts and uncles from the same generation.
What happened to us? One thing I think is as women we have denounced our womanhood in a lot of ways. We have turned away from what the women before us have tried o teach us. Now that we have our education, own money, own our homes, etc. it appears that we feel as though we have arrived. The first thing that comes out of our mouths is what we don't need, a man, as to say "we ain't putting up with shit".... I know for a fact that a lot, if not most of the women of my generation has said this at least once at some point. Regardless of whether we mean it or not, it is said. Not to mention the whole idea of the women's liberation movement, fighting to be treated like a man, this is pure insanity. We are now getting treated like men and no longer as women. It is now that we want to place the blame back on the man. This would indicate we are never satisfied, which can be identified as a negative trait; constantly displayed amongst us as well. My mother use to say to me all the time, "you may get what you want but you will lose what you had". This is what has happened to us ladies. We got what we thought we wanted and lost a lot of what we had in the process. With that being said, I am not saying this alone is responsible for the downfall of the black man. I just want us to focus on ourselves and take an honest look to see what we can do to assist in making our lives better; not just for us but for both our children and men. It is time for us to be agents of change. Black women, if we are honest with ourselves we have to admit that we have some issues. We are quick to say that we are going to other races due to the imperfections of the black man. The truth of it all is that no other race is going to want damaged goods either. We as a people have been targeted for decades to be destroyed and we know this. Our men are feared the most which makes them targeted the most. This is by no means a justification for their negative actions, but merely a fact. It is time to take those pants off and put on a skirt, lip gloss and be quiet for a change. We need to speak less and listen more. Being meek and soft spoken are virtues from God. We need to stop trying to run EVERYTHING. One of my favorite quotes from Marilyn Monroe supports what my stance on the topic is, "women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition". A woman who understands her role and embraces it is a confident woman. The role of a woman is just as important as the role of a man, the roles are just different. Do not forget we bring lives into the world which is major and even in that we need a man for that to transpire. Men want and need a woman, not a probation officer or mother. We say that we don't need a man, but the fact remains that we want a man. We say that we are not going to take anything off a man, which often leaves us alone. Instead we turn to frivolous dating, being lonely, longing for someone to hold us, rub our hair, and tell us how beautiful we are to them. Since we will not take shit we choose not to take shit off a man this is where we end up; still complaining. We need to stop playing games and ourselves with our words and negative demeanor. A real man wants a real woman, one that is going to complete, support, nurture and love him. A man needs a woman that understands her womanhood and his manhood. Stay with me ladies...we have lost track and gotten away from the ways things are supposed to be done. We are killing ourselves because we have allowed our pride to run us into a deep dark hole. Either we have all forgotten or never fully understood the word submission. Submission as it relates to us is not synonymous with slavery or bondage. It is just simply allowing a man to be your head. For the life of me I do not understand why this word is so upsetting to some women. If we pay close attention, the ones that feel this way tend to be alone and unhappy. Once again we have forgotten our roles. God created woman for a man, not vice versa. I know this may have gone over some of your heads but I must repeat, A WOMAN WAS CREATED FOR A MAN. Man was created first and then God saw fit to bless him with what was supposed to be a beautiful gift. There was a reason God did not create both at the same time, it was not due to his inability to do so. I do not know about you but I would challenge you to think about this deeper and understand that God knew what he was doing. The bible speaks about contentious women and how God would rather for a man to live in the forest than with a nagging woman. When we choose a man, choose him carefully so that being submissive will not feel like a negative task or chore. I say when we choose but the fact is that a man selects us. When we choose to accept a man's pursuit, just make sure it is a real man. A real man will love you, provide for you and out of love will never have you in a place that feels degrading. I would love to submit to a love such as this. I would like for you to ponder on this a bit more before I go on any further. Think of this post as just the milk, the meat will come later. However, I would like to end with at statement that I heard an older woman say, " A woman gains more power by embracing her womanhood than denouncing it." God Bless.
